Grabbers (2012)

Title: Grabbers (2012)

Director: Jon Wright

Cast: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley, Russell Tovey

Every now and again a movie pops up out of nowhere and completely takes me by surprise, Grabbers is one such film, completely fun, completely entertaining. I knew nothing of the Irish monster movie, I simply rented it because the themes and situations are similar to a script I’ve been working on for a while now…and well, I was extremely curious as to how they handled the Lovecraftian elements on this one. That’s right my friends, this is yet another film that plays in Lovecraft’s sand box; Grabbers was obviously influenced by stories like say ‘Dagon’, ‘The Horror at Red Hook’, ‘The Call of Cthulhu’ or ‘The Colour out of Space’. This is a film that knows where it’s borrowing from and does it well, any lover of Lovecraft’s particular brand of horror should be pleased with this one for here’s a film filled with many tentacled creatures that come from the stars and take residence in our oceans! What’s more Lovecraftian than that right?  

In Grabbers, a meteor falls to the ocean somewhere in the shores of a small fishing community in Ireland and with it comes these blood thirsty creatures that begin to spread throughout the town.  It’s up to the town’s drunkard police man and his rookie partner to find a way to put an end to the alien invasion. Thankfully, the creatures have an aversion to alcohol, which means that the best way to stay safe is to be drunk all the time! Will they be able to stop the creatures while being completely blasted? 

First off, Grabbers isn’t the most original film you’ll ever see, in fact, you’ll feel like you’ve seen the movie before. To me it felt as if I was watching Stuart Gordon’s Dagon (2001), only told in a much more lighthearted, adventurous tone, kind of like a monster movie from the eighties. In that sense it is very similar to Attack the Block (2011), because it a modern film attempting to evoke those adventurous monster movies from the eighties, with a tinge of nostalgia. Grabbers is a film like Gremlins (1984) where there are monsters terrorizing the town, in fact, there's a whole scene with these little squid like monsters destroying a pub that brought to mind certain images from Gremlins. The story is told in a light tone, with an emphasis on the comedy and the jokes. You know, nothing too scary or frightening. Monster movies have a formula, and so Grabbers kind of fails in the sense that it follows it to a t, which means you kind of know exactly what beats the story is going to be hitting. So things go a bit like this, monster arrives, slowly we signs of its presence, the towns people discover the creatures, they figure out how to kill them and the film ends with a full blown monster vs. the towns people scenario. It also reminded of Tremors (1990), right down to having a scene where the town folk are debating over what they are going to call the creatures they’ve just discovered. So don’t expect anything to original.

Thankfully the film gets many other things right, for example, this idea that you have to be drunk in order to keep the beasties away is awesome because that just means that we’ll have drunk people as protagonists all throughout the film, which when done right can be hilariousl. The films main character is a drunkard police man; so we have what’s called an ‘unreliable protagonist’, the proverbial looser who turns into a hero. In that sense the film felt a bit like Shaun of the Dead (2004), because it has an incompetent individual who suddenly takes charge of things. It is also like Shaun of the Dead because the most pivotal moments end up taking place in or around a pub. So yeah, that whole idea about everyone being drunk was cool, the actors played drunk very convincingly because before the shoot, director Jon Wright took his actors on a drinking spree and taped the whole thing. They then re-watched the footage and used it as reference for their performances, which worked like magic because I’ll tell ya, they played drunk good! They really exploit that Irish ideal of drinking till you pass out! And speaking of Ireland, the film has these really beautiful vistas of Ireland and its shores. I love the way Ireland looks, so cold and gloomy, a perfect setting for a horror movie like this one. To top things off, same as in Dagon, it’s raining for practically the entire film.

Another major plus for the film are the creatures which look amazing! If you’re a fan of Lovecraft and the whole Cthulhu mythos, then you’re going to love this movie because in many ways, it’s the ultimate Cthulhu movie, it reminded me of another obscure fantasy film that also had heavy Lovecraftian influences called Cast a Deadly Spell (1991), which starred Fred Ward in the role of a private detective investigating the theft of the Necronomicon in a 1940’s alternate universe in which magic is real, actually, common place! If you haven’t seen Cast a Deadly Spell and you are a fan of Lovecraft, I recommend checking that one out! Though tonally very different from Cast a Deadly Spell, both films end up with a huge tentacled creature terrorizing the town. Grabbers is the latest of the Lovecraft inspired monster films, and it has the benefit of having modern special effects at its disposal, which is why Grabbers has the best creatures with tentacles I’ve seen in a while, really cool to look at. Bottom line is, Grabbers is a fun, fast paced, lighthearted monster flick, highly recommend it to Lovecraft fans and monster flick fans alike.

Rating: 4 out of 5    

   

Behind The Scenes Awesomeness: The Alien Franchise

Well, I'm going to be starting something new here on The Film Connoisseur called Behind the Scenes Awesomeness! These types of articles will feature behind the scenes pics of your favorite movies; in todays installment we focus on the Alien Franchise, I've purposely left out the Alien Vs. Predator films and Prometheus, for a possible future post. On this article I've included pics from Alien (1979), Aliens (1986), Alien 3 (1992) and Alien Resurrection (1997). Behind the scenes pics are really insightful as to what goes on behind the making of the film, often times you'll see how tricky camera shots were achieved, or the tricks filmmakers used to fool us, like for example, how Ridley Scott used little kids to make his sets look bigger! You'll also get to see actors fooling around in between takes which is always fun for me. So anyhows, I leave you with the first installment of Behind the Scenes Awesomeness! Hope you enjoy it.

Argento's Dracula 3-D (2012)

Title: Dario Argento’s Dracula 3-D (2012)

Director: Dario Argento

Cast: Rutger Hauer, Asia Argento, Thomas Kretschmann, Marta Gastini, Unax Agalde, Giovanni Franzoni

There’s this idea amongst film buffs that directors tend to make worse films the older they get; and I think it's true, with very few exceptions, as directors get older, they lose that magic that made their first films great. Case in point: Dario Argento who had his golden age back in the 70’s and 80’s when he made films like Suspiria (1977), Deep Red (1975) and Opera (1987). I remember those movies being awesome because of their atmosphere, the over the top violence and those special camera angles that Argento was so fond of. But somewhere around the late 80’s and early 90’s Argento was showing signs of fatigue, his films just weren’t the same. I guess when I started to notice something was off with Argento was around the time he made his version of Phantom of the Opera (1998) which was just a goofy, goofy film. Trying to be all serious and romantic, yet failing horribly at it. After that one, he’s never really ever given us anything as remotely good as his early stuff. Seeing Argento’s Dracula cements the idea that Argento is totally done for as a director. Sadly.

I get what Argento was trying to do with his take on Stoker’s Dracula; simply put Argento was going for a tribute to Hammer’s Dracula films, you know the ones that starred Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. Specifically, Argento’s Dracula plays out a lot like Terrence Fisher’s Horror of Dracula (1958), the very first Hammer Dracula film, it even uses that idea that Terrence Fisher used in Horror of Dracula were Jonathan Harker travels to Dracula’s castle to function as a librarian. The film feels like it’s trying to be purposely old school, right down to this silly sounding Halloween soundtrack that it has. The film looks and feels pretty much like a Hammer film, the difference lies in the graphic gore which was something that Hammer films never dabbled too deeply into. I mean, Hammer films had their blood, but they were never too graphic, not like Argento’s Dracula which goes over the top at some points. That’s right my friends, on this one Argento amps up the levels of gore, which is always fun in my book. There’s this moment where Dracula goes nuts and starts slicing off heads like there’s no tomorrow, I have to admit, those were some cool scenes. But gore alone does not make a good horror film; we gotta have other things thrown in there, like for example some common sense, which Argento has always loved to throw out the window. Did you ever think you’d end up seeing Dracula transform into a giant Praying Mantis? No? Well, after you see Argento’s Dracula you can scratch that one off your bucket list!

So this film has enough gore and nonsensical elements to get the fan boys talking on the net, what else do we need to make this one stand out? Oh yeah, how about some good old fashion nudity? Well, there’s tons of it as well. I mean, five minutes into the film two young lovers are making out in a barn and there’s flesh everywhere! If you ever wanted to get a good look at Asia Argento’s nakedness, this is your chance! Don’t worry about it, her dad is okay with it, he’s the film’s director! So yeah, this one has all the shocking elements necessary to get fan boys attention. Problem is that along with all these ‘goodies’ we get some really terrible elements to this film, which sadly brings it really down or makes it cheesier, which some folks don’t mind. For example, the computer animation is just freaking terrible. God! How can a director like Argento look at this footage and say “were good to go”? I mean, the digital stunt doubles on this one? So laughable! But then again, even the real actors are terrible! There’s this actress that plays Mina Harker (Marta Gastini), she has these scenes where Dracula and her are all emotional about their love for one another and all that…you should see that scene, it’s the most shameless rip off! She’s imitating Wynona Ryder in Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)! She uses the same facial gestures, the same everything, her performance was Xeroxed, it made me want to puke because it was such a shameless copy/paste! Asia Argento herself turns in a terrible performance, but she was never much of an actress if you ask me. Not even Rutger Hauer can save this one, sorry.

Overall, even though this movie isn’t what I’d call a good Argento film, I’d say that it retains a certain cheesy watchability to it which reminded me of another one of Argento’s goofy yet enjoyable films: The Phantom of the Opera (1998). Argento’s Dracula is a train wreck of a film, but it’s a fun train wreck. It has all the things you’d expect in a Dracula film, the full moon, the spooky woods, the mist, the castles, the big breasted vampire ladies, crosses, stakes, coffins and lots of blood! It really is trying to be an old fashioned horror movie, and I have to give it props for that. It’s kind of like a modern day Hammer film, but cheesy to the max, with bad dialog and acting, and Argento’s unique brand of weirdness. For example, Argento’s obsession with insects returns! I’ve already mentioned the giant Praying Mantis, but he also plays with some images he’d played with before in Phenomena (1985), namely, a horde of insects swarming outside of a house. Yup, on this one Dracula can also turn into a bunch of flies! In many ways, this is a fun movie, because hearing this dialog is a trip, but also because it’s trying so hard to be spooky and old school that it’s kind of endearing in that way. I’d say this one would make a fun watch come Halloween night, but that’s all its good for because no matter how hard it might try, Dracula 3-D won’t be reminding you of Argento’s glory days; those days are long, long gone.

Rating: 2 out of 5 

Vampyres (1974)

Title: Vampyres (1974)

Director: Jose Ramon Larraz

Cast: Marianne Morris, Anulka, Dziubinska

I’ve been catching up with the whole Lesbian Vampire sub-genre and it’s been a trip. Weirdest thing about these movies is that most of them are very well made and beautiful to look at, also, most of the time they lean more towards being artful and beautiful to look at. Vampiros Lesbos (1971) and The Living Dead Girl (1982) surprised me in that way, as did Daughters ofDarkness (1971), which I like to call 'the classy one'. Vampyres always gets mentioned as an important part of the sub genre, so I decided to finally give it a spin. Up to this point, I’d seen nothing but good lesbian vampire movies, this I’m sad to inform was the first of the bunch to disappoint me. Why? Well, my disappointment lies in the film being so simple minded, I mean, there’s no meat to this film. The story starts with these two lesbian chicks making out in bed and suddenly this mysterious dude comes in and shoots them. Talk about coitus interruptus! So anyways, after that they become vampires. Their modus operandi in order to feed is to use their female powers on men who pass by their castle. Then they ask for a ride and wham, guys fall in the trap like flies on a spider web.

I don’t mind simplicity in a film if said film compensates with something else, like for example style, or action. Gore will do the trick as well. Maybe even funny elements? The only thing this film has to offer is nudity, and tons of it. These vampire girls are naked practically throughout the whole film, in fact, the film starts with the girls naked in bed! I don’t complaint when there are beautiful women up on the screen, but when that’s all the film has to offer, and everything else falls flat, then the film feels like a poor excuse for a porn film. It feels empty. I mean, this literally feels like soft porn. I didn’t get this empty feeling with films like The Vampire Lovers (1970) or even Vampiros Lesbos (1971). In those films, the nudity is tantalizing and yeah, why not, gratuitous, but at the same time, the nudity wasn’t these films main focus, the nudity is like an extra. Plus, there was always the beautiful cinematography, the locations, the atmosphere, the gore! Vampyres lacks a lot in all these places, all it has going for it are the naked girls, everything else is simply put: boring as hell.

The films plot reminded me a bit of Clive Barker’s Hellraiser (1987) because it is a film about women using their sensuality to reel in their victims, unfortunately, Vampyres has none of the shock value seen in Hellraiser. The film did have a couple of chances to be shocking, but it completely wasted them to completely bore us to death. For example there’s this scene in which the girls feed on this guy, and we see blood all over the place, but where are the wounds? The blood seems simply put on the actors before filming the scenes, it wasn’t gushing out of any wound. And speaking of wounds, there is this one scene that kind of got my attention in which one of the vampire girls slits this dudes wrist and starts sucking on the open wound, it was a pretty nasty sequence, which by the way just went on and on and on. I have to admit it had me cringing, but unfortunately that’s as far as this movie went in terms of getting a reaction from me. The other thing I did enjoy where some of the shots of the castle during the night, these scenes where truly eerie, made even cooler because this is the same castle in which The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) was shot in! I thought I recognized that castle!

Now if you’re the kind of person who is satisfied with a film that focuses entirely on nudity and sex, then by all means indulge! These actresses are beautiful and well, they do go down on each other on more than one occasion. Speaking of the sex scenes on this movie, they are feral, almost animal like. The girls are vampires so that’s to be expected I guess, but one dude is like all beastly when he has sex with one of the vampire vixens. So anyhow, I wasn’t impressed at all with this one, I’d recommend it to hardcore fans of vampire films, but even then you might be disappointed because there are no fangs, no gore and none of the traditional things you’d expect to see in a vampire film. You almost feel like these girls are simply weird girls who like to drink blood. Vampyres was my first real disappointment in the lesbian vampire sub genre, I recommend seeing other films in this genre before wasting your time with this one.

Rating:  2 out of 5