Ted (2012)

Title: Ted (2012)

Director: Seth McFarlane

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth McFarlane, Giovanni Ribisi, Sam J. Jones  

                                              

Review:

When Ted was first released in theaters, I totally ignored it because I thought it was going to be a stupid movie, a one trick pony about a Teddy bear doing all sorts of obscene stuff. And while it was that, it was also much more than that and I’m sorry I missed this super funny movie in theaters, I totally underestimated, my bad.  Still, I managed to laugh just as much in the comfort of my home and so I’m here to say that if like me you thought Ted was going to be a sucky movie and haven’t seen it yet, then give it a chance, you’re missing out on a truly funny movie.

Story is all about this kid named John who is a social outcast; his class mates make fun of him and he is lonely most of the time, which is why he ends up talking to his teddy bear. Like many kids at that age, when they got no friends, they make up one. One night, John wishes upon a star. His wish is that Teddy would be real, so he could talk to him like a real person. To his surprise, his wish comes true; his Teddy bear has come to life! Fast forward thirty years and John is now an adult and his Teddy bear still talks! In fact, John and Ted are best buds, they smoke weed, drink and party together. They are inseparable.  Problem is that John’s girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) wants’ more out of their relationship and gives John and ultimatum: her or Ted.

The most relevant thing about Ted are the themes it plays with. Yeah we have a little Teddy smoking weed and cursing like a sailor, but at its core Ted is a movie about growing up, leaving behind childish comfort zones and facing responsibilities head on. Sometimes, people don’t want to face the often times overbearing responsibilities of adult hood. Some would just rather party all the time, like that stupid ass  Eddie Murphy song. To some, responsibilities loom heavily on the horizon, threatening to end all their fun in life, so they ignore them and party as much as they can. Problem is that, if you don’t face these responsibilities and ignore them instead, then you’re hiding away from growing up, you remain a child forever, hence the term “Peter Pan Syndrome” a term commonly used in the world of psychiatry for people who just don’t want to grow up. These are people who are afraid to face anything that threatens their comfort zone. They don’t want to hear their parents, girlfriend, or friends telling them to “do something with your life”. Basically, people like this shun away anything that questions or threatens anything in their comfort zone. People who suffer from this state of mind, shun the rest of the world because they don’t want to face it, they feel inadequate facing others who have moved on with their lives.

John, the character played by Mark Wahlberg isn’t so far down the rabbit whole, he’s at least managed to get himself a beautiful girlfriend played by Mila Kunis, and he wants to become an adult even though he is already 35 years old. He has fallen into that gutter where your life is essentially going nowhere. But his girl is willing to give him a chance, and John at least demonstrates a desire to stand up for himself and become a man; which of course includes one of the biggest responsibilities imposed by society on any human being: marriage! The ultimate compromise! Can John grow up, get married and become a man? That all depends on him leaving his child like things behind, his comfort zones which include smoking weed, drinking like a mad man and watching movies. The problem with these things is not that John does them, it’s that they are the only things he does with his life. It’s all about that delicate balancing act, work hard and then you can party hard. But it can’t all be party! John at least admits that he is 35 and “going nowhere”. So this is a movie about a man who has to stop wasting his life away. The problem is Ted the talking Teddy bear. This little talking Teddy represents that friend that doesn’t want to stop partying, the facilitator of mirth, the one that always calls you up to hang out and party like there’s no tomorrow. According to the film, this type of friend can be detrimental to a person, because they are the kind of friends who won’t let you move on with their lives, who will drag you down with them into their own neverland.  

   

But you have to admit; sometimes a good party has a strong pull! And in this film the party is not only filled with babes, drugs and alcohol, it also counts with the presence of Sam J. Jones, the actor who played Flash Gordon ("Quarter Back, New York Jets!") in Mike Hodges’s Flash Gordon (1980)! This was the coolest joke in the movie for me because I am a fan of that particular Flash Gordon film, it’s so campy, so flashy, so cheesy, but oh so very fun! Thing is that this Flash Gordon joke is a running gag throughout the whole freaking movie so I was laughing like a mad man every step of the way. Take it from me; if you’re a fan of that Flash Gordon film, with Queen singing “Flash! AaaAaaaaa he’ll save everyone one of us!” then you are in for a special treat with Ted.

"Look Flash, there's Tim Burton blast him away with your laser cannon!"

Ted can be categorized as a “guy’s film” which is basically the kind of movie a guy will want to play for all his buds in his man cave, drinking beers and eating pizza, though woman can also identify with the film since it is a woman that is pushing John to make all these changes in his life. The theme of commitment in a relationship is also one that women will find interesting. Though if they want to see the female verison of this film, then I urge them to check out Young Adult (2011) starring Charleze Theron which plays with similar themes but from a females point of view. Word of warning to those who can’t take a raunchy jokes, the film does indulge into its fare share of vulgar jokes that I’m sure many will find offensive, but again, Gene Simmons definition of success shines through:  “offend as many people as possible”.  This film might have had a Teddy Bear smoking weed, drinking beers and attempting to have sex (even though he has no penis!), yet still, the film went on to make more than 500 million dollars at the box office! So a ‘congratulations’ is in order for first time director Seth McFarlane. Making such a huge hit his first time out is always something good, let’s see if he can duplicate it with his next one, which no doubt we will be seeing sometime soon. I’m sure the success of Ted has Hollywood knocking on his door as I type this.

Rating:  5 out of 5 

The original 'Flash Jump'! 

Original vs. Remake Comparison: Judge Dredd (1995) vs. Dredd (2012)

Judge Dredd is one of those properties that has huge potential for becoming the Next Big Franchise, but for some reason, Hollywood has never really figured out how to start it up properly. There’s been two films based on Judge Dredd, the first one was Danny Cannon’s Judge Dredd (1995) and the second, Dredd (2012). Both films were not as successful as expected by their producers, yet I have enjoyed both cinematic incarnations of the character, both for different reasons. Still, one could safely say that American audiences have not truly warmed up to Judge Dredd yet; both films were failed attempts at jump starting a franchise. One of the best examples of a failed franchise that Hollywood just won’t give up on are the Punisher films, which Hollywood has attempted to start off three times with no success; and two of these adaptations were produced during the current boom of comic book movies, so why the failure? If you ask me, I’d say that no matter how how much franchise potential a property might have, when a film like Green Lantern (2011) fails it proves only one thing: you still need a good movie to kick things off. Without that good first film, your franchise is going nowhere; which is why Danny Cannon’s Judge Dredd is such a conundrum for me. Cannon’s Judge Dredd is not a bad film in my book; actually, if you ask me, it’s quite the contrary, it should have started a whole franchise of Judge Dredd films! Still, back in 1995 audiences in the United States didn’t think a Judge Dredd movie was such a good idea, even with Sylvester Stallone attached as the main star of the film. Why did this first attempt to bring Judge Dredd to the silver screen fail?

In retrospect, Danny Cannon’s 1995 film wasn’t a total bomb. While it is true that the film failed to make its budget back in the United States where it only made 34 million; it did make more cash abroad, recuperating its 70 million dollar budget and making a grand total of 113 million worldwide. So things weren’t all that bad for this Stallone vehicle, it just didn’t make as much money as expected in the United States. But still, one has to wonder, why didn’t it perform? Well, it could have something to do with Judge Dredd not being as well known a character as other popular comic book properties. The roots of Judge Dredd go back to the U.K. where it first appeared in the illustrious science fiction comic book magazine 2000 A.D., way back in 1977. Now in the U.K. Judge Dredd is a well known comic book character, for example, it was considered one of the top ten comic book characters ever created by Empire Magazine. But the truth is that the grand majority of Americans don’t know what the hell 2000 A.D.  is and with the exception of those hard core comic book geeks like myself, Judge Dredd simply hasn’t reached that level of recognition that other comic book characters have. So we could attribute the low box office intake to the fact that in the U.S., Judge Dredd is not that well known a character.

Judge Dredd has had a long and fruitful comic book life

But was Danny Cannon’s film really all that bad? Was it really all that unfaithful to the comics? Well, if you ask Judge Dredd creator John Wagner he’ll tell you that Cannon’s film “had nothing to do with Judge Dredd”. I can see where he is coming from, but I don’t necessarily agree. I’ve been reading the first issues of the old 1970’s Dredd comic books (and having a blast with them I might add!) and I have to say that Danny Cannon’s film is actually very close to what Wagner and Ezquerra originally created with their comics. There’s Mega City One, which by the way looks absolutely stunning in Cannon’s film. There’s a grand set design here, the city looks massive and convoluted the way Mega City should be, filled with crooks and chaos. Judge Dredd himself looks amazingly close to how he looks in the comics; the wardrobe by the way was designed by famed fashion mogul Gianni Versace!  The suit might not look functional, but hell, it’s the Dredd from the comic books, there’s no denying that! The look for the new film looses the giant golden eagle shoulder pads for a more toned down and functional shoulder padding, but I have to admit, I like the look on Cannon’s film better, it just looks more like the Dredd from the comic books. You can tell there was a desire to be faithful to the iconic Judge Dredd suit, it only he’d worn it more through the film.

They got the guns right, they got Dredd’s motorcycle just as huge as in the comics and with built in machine guns! I tell ya, in look and overall feel, Danny Cannon’s film succeeds in transferring the comic book character and the world of Mega City One to the silver screen in a more successful and faithful manner than director Pete Travis’s Dredd (2012), which by comparison brings us a very scaled down version of Mega City One. This due to the fact that the makers of Dredd had a smaller budget than Cannon and Stallones film. The makers of Judge Dredd had a cool 70 million dollars to play with, some sites even say the budget was closer to 90 million, while the makers of Dredd had only 50 million. But apparently 70 million dollars could get you a heck of a lot back in ‘95 and as a result, Cannon’s film looks expensive, it’s one of those movies where you can see the millions up on the screen. It has big effects, big stars, and an imposing musical score arranged by Alan Silvestri. So if you ask this film connoisseur, I say Cannon’s film is better in these respects. It’s bigger, badder, louder. Unfortunately, the films levels of violence garnered it an ‘R’ rating and so, I think this too might have hurt its intake at the box office. Its target audience couldn’t go and see the film because it was restricted.

Thematically speaking, the film plays with a lot of important (if somewhat redundant) issues. First off, we have a corrupt judicial system, corrupt cops and a corrupt government. Their main purpose in life is to build an army so they can overtake the city. Same as real life politicians, the corrupt government of Mega City One uses criminals to purposely inflict fear in the hearts and minds of the people so they’ll have an excuse to build a clone army. By the way, the theme of corruption amongst the police force is touched upon yet again in Dredd. Cannon’s film centers around a story line from the old comic books called “The Return of Rico”, where ‘Rico’ - Judge Dredd’s evil brother- returns from exile to exact some revenge on those who sent him to prison. Armand Assante, one of my favorite actors and one who is criminally underrated in Hollywood, plays the over the top Rico, a great asset to this film. And speaking of Judge Dredd’s cast, we also get the awesome Max Von Sydow playing Judge Dredd’s father figure Judge Fargo. Sometimes the performances are tuned up a bit too much, Stallone himself said that the tone they went for was too ‘Hamlet’ when they should have kept it fun and gone more Hamlet and Eggs. I get what he’s saying, but I actually think it’s not all that serious, there’s a fine balancing act between serious sci-fi and goofy comic book movie on this one, what with Rob Schneider hopping along for the ride, a joke a second is always assured. True, I’m not the first to admit that Schneider doesn’t always hit the mark, but in my opinion he isn’t all that annoying, he’s just the a-typical comic relief character. If you want to blame someone for including Schneider here, blame Stallone, he’s the one that asked for him! Originally Stallone wanted Joe Pesci, but Pesci declined so they went with Schneider. 

  

I’ve read many die hard Judge Dredd fans (the purists) complain that they didn’t like the fact that Stallone takes off the helmet and the uniform for most of the film, and I have to say I agree, taking the iconic Judge Dredd suit and helmet off for 90% of the film was not a good idea. In the Judge Dredd comics, we never get to see Dredd’s face, ever! It’s this big mystery that bathes the character with an enigmatic  aura that works like magic. But in the films defense, we have to understand that Stallone was the big draw here and the producers didn’t want to hide their bankable film stars face in a helmet for the whole film, so in a way, it’s understandable that they did this. But I, along with many Dredd fans would have preferred to see more of Dredd looking like a Judge, not like Stallone. Wardrobe issues aside, Stallone did a good job in bringing the character to life, he plays him cold and robotic, the way Dredd should be. He shouts things like “I am the law!” and calls people “citizens and perps”. He sentences people on the spot, I mean, for all intents and purposes, this is Dredd come to life. I say you and I are lucky that this film turned out as cool as it id, during this production Stallone and Cannon didn’t see eye to eye in a great many things, yes my friends, this was a troubled production, things didn’t run smoothly between actor and director. So much so that Cannon vowed never again to work with big movie stars like Stallone.  Still, I say that the end result is a fun movie, with great action, a good story, a good cast and great visual effects, Mega City One looks like something out of The Fifth Element (1997) mixed with Blade Runner (1982). An escapist film with great production values, I say give this one a second chance!

In comparison, Pete Travis’s Dredd is the complete opposite of Cannon’s film. It’s a smaller scale story, less epic, more personal. We get to follow Dredd and a rookie try and stop ‘Ma-Ma’, a big time drug dealer who resides on the 200^th floor of Peach Tree building complex. It isn’t going to be an easy task, especially when Ma-Ma locks down the whole building! By keeping Dredd confined to one location, the filmmakers keep costs down by not having to show the futuristic exteriors of Mega City One, while at the same time giving us more time to focus on Dredd himself, which is something that sets this film apart, we are with Dredd for most of the films duration.

Gotta tell ya, if I’m given the choice to choose between both of these films, I’d choose Cannon’s film simply because its way more fun. Dredd is such a serious affair, so dreadful, it needed something to liven it up, it needed more sci-fi to it, more action, like the comics. As it is, we simply get Dredd going from floor to floor shooting people in slow motion, which in my opinion felt a little redundant after a while. I did like the slow motion effect of Slo-Mo. Basically, once you take it everything around you slows down to a crawl. Because of this, blood, shards of broken glass, bullets and tearing flesh, can all be appreciated in slow motion. Cool visuals in deed.

On this one, Dredd looks awesome as well. Yeah they lost  the giant golden eagle shoulder pads, but it’s not a big loss, they went for a more realistic approach. Dredd almost looks like a real cop, closer to something we might see on the streets someday. But again, if asked to choose, I’d take the look from Cannon’s film better, simply because it’s more comic bookish, it’s the Dredd of the comics, not a toned down version that wants to be more realistic. This is something that filmmakers need to remember, when we go see a comic book film, we’re not looking for realism, we’re looking for escapism, we’re looking to see something we haven’t seen. Characters who do things we can’t do. And in my opinion, this is what brings Dredd down a bit, its desire to be more serious and realistic. In a Dredd film, I want the futuristic motorcycle, the flying cars, the killer robots, the cool weapons, the sci-fi, Dredd needed more sci-fi to it. But I get it, the budget was smaller, this wasn’t as big a production as Stallone’s film was, this is a smaller scale production, so I accepted it for what it is. And truth be told, I enjoyed Dredd.  I read an article where Alex Garland speaks about this decidedly smaller scale film, and in it he explains that they went with this because they were testing out the waters to see if people would approve of this new film. Had this one worked, had it made some dough, we would have seen two more films, bigger in scale with the possible introduction of infamous Judge Death! But alas…this was not to be.

Unfortunately, Dredd bombed at the box office, even more so than Cannon’s film. Dredd cost 50 million, but only made 32; it didn’t even make its money back! That is the mark of death for any franchise. But again, you need a good entertaining first film to grab audiences and this one was so small scale that it failed to impress. Though well made, it simply wasn’t epic enough. Dredd feels like a whimper next to the big and loud Stallone film. But I’m not going down as saying Dredd is a bad film, I just think it wasn’t all it could have been.  Sad story in my book, I wanted to see more of Judge Dredd! But fear not, thanks to the efforts of Judge Dredd creators John Wagner and Carlos Ezquerra, Judge Dredd is becoming better known across the United States and the world. The old comics are getting reprinted and collected in these giant volumes that compile all of those old Judge Dredd comics that appeared in 2000 A.D., highly recommend searching those out! It’s very entertaining to see how this character has evolved through it’s comic book history. Judge Dredd has gone through various  comic book companies, writers and artists. For example, DC comics has printed a couple of Judge Dredd series, and so has IDW Publishing, which by the way is currently printing a series as I type this. Hopefully Dredd (2012) will find its audience on dvd and awareness of the character will grow over the years. Until then, we got volumes of comic book history and these two films to quench our thirsts for all things Dredd. Here’s hoping that a couple of years down the line, Hollywood decides to give Judge Dredd another chance at franchise glory. Until then, according to municipal code 213: good hearted attempts at jump starting a franchise and Code 310: films that don’t deserve the bad rap they get and Code 201 of the Cinematic Crimes Journal, I the Film Connoisseur find both of these films NOT guilty! Go watch them and have a good time!

Rating Judge Dredd (1995): 4 ½

Rating Dredd (2012): 4

A fan made poster that Danny Cannon made when he was a teenager, before he even dreamed of directing Judge Dredd (1995). He submitted it to a contest for 2000 A.D. and won! 

The Last Stand (2013)

Title: The Last Stand (2012)

Director: Jee-Woon Kim

Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Forest Whitaker, Johnny Knoxville, Peter Stormare, Luis Guzman, Jamie Alexander

Review:

Read an article the other day on Deadline that said that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s come back vehicle The Last Stand was dead upon arrival, that it’s officially a huge flop and that “nobody wants to see Arnold anymore”. Speak for yourself is all I say, I want to see Arnold again alright, and I want to see him kicking ass like he used to, so of course I went to see The Last Stand in its opening weekend. But of course, this is the day and age when the success of a film is determined by it’s opening weekend grosses and sadly, according to box office numbers, The Last Stand only made an abysmal 6.3 million on its opening weekend…which of course immediately marks this one as a turkey in the eyes of its producers and the film industry in general; especially when its budget was 30 million. But is the slow turn out for this movie representative of its quality? Is The Last Stand a shitty come back film for Arnold? Read on my friends, read on.

In The Last Stand, Arnold plays an aging sheriff who was part of the L.A.P.D. during his younger days,  but has moved to the quiet little town of Summerton to live a simpler life; to live his last days in peace. But of course, there’s no rest for the wicked and so a big time Mexican drug dealer has just escaped the grasp of the F.B.I. and is looking to make his way to the frontier, so he can make the quintessential getaway to Mexican territory. In order to do so, he’s acquired a modified Corvette ZR-1, ensuring in this way that his getaway is a speedy one. Too bad for him that in order to crossover to Mexico, he has to go through the town of Sommerton and Sommerton is Arnold’s town, you do the math.

So that’s your basic premise for this very basic movie. I think that the reason why this film isn’t making huge bank is not because “nobody wants to see Arnold anymore” because I think in the public’s eye, and in movie fans eyes Arnold is as cool as he’s always been; people do want to see more of Arnold. They just want to see him in a better movie thats all. A problem the film suffers from is that it's  premise is far too simple, one look at the trailer and you know exactly how everything is going to go down. There’s nothing remotely novel about the film, and that’s always a dangerous deal. Well, the big draw is of course seeing Arnold being an action star again and making fun of himself, but that’s not enough, you have to pull people in with some sort of entertaining or cool concept, otherwise audiences will wait for the dvd, which is what will probably happen to this here film. It seems to me that for Arnold’s big cinematic comeback, we needed something a little more bombastic then Arnold fighting off a small group of goons, in a small town. If you know anything about Arnold Schwarzenegger then you know that ‘small’ just doesn’t fit into his vocabulary. Arnold has always been about bigger and badder things. This story just seemed too small, to laid back for what you’d expect from Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But the question remains: was this a bad movie? Hell no. Truth be told The Last Stand is actually a fun romp, an entertaining flick that’s decidedly smaller in scope, but not any less entertaining because of it. Hey, at least this isn’t another Collateral Damage (2002), Arnold’s lowest point in my opinion. The Last Stand actually has a couple of good things going for it, first off, there’s the joy of seeing Arnold back on the silver screen in his first solo role since Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003). The only difference here being that Arnold is no longer the indestructible action hero he once was. On this one he shows signs of vulnerability and old age, which he wisely makes fun off. On this one he’s the Sheriff who just wants to enjoy his day off. Of course it’s cool to see Arnold raising his gun, pointing it straight at the camera, shooting some bad guys and saying things like “Welcome to Sommerton!”. Movie buffs who have seen Arnold on screen since his Predator (1987) or Commando (1985) days are gonna get a special kick out of that, I know I did! Then we got the supporting cast which was fun to watch, Luis Guzman in my opinion was one of the funniest and most entertaining things about the film, he really livens up the movie with his comedy. Johnny Knoxville plays the resident coo-coo, but he does it well. Not so sure he deserved top billing on this film though, his role is minimal. 

Then we have the other star of the film, the cool as hell Corvette ZR1 which instantly goes down on my Memorable Movie Cars list, this is one of those cars that becomes an essential part of the film. It has its moments, for example, there’s a car chase that takes place right smack in the middle of a corn field, pretty cool sequence. We also get a cool shoot out at the end of the film, if you wanna see Arnold shoot some big guns, you shouldn’t be disappointed; and yet another cool extra is seeing Arnold go on a ‘mano a mano’ with the main villain of the film. It’s interesting seeing an aging action star doing his best to show us that he’s still got it even though he is well into his 60’s, like Conan the King wanting to have a good fight before going to the heavens with the gods in Valhalla. My final word on The Last Stand is that it should’ve been a bigger film, Arnold should have chosen something more explosive for his big come back, it’s too small in scale to call any attention upon itself. At least Arnold’s still got two more films to prove his still got some box office draw. There’s The Tomb (2013) which he’ll co-star with Sylvester Stallone and finally Ten (2014) which I’m looking forward to because it’s directed by David Ayer, the writer/director behind such awesome films as Training Day (2001) and Harsh Times (2005). Let’s just hope that these two films make more money than The Last Stand did or there’s little chance we’ll see that proposed Legend of Conan film we keep hearing so much about, now there’s an idea for a comeback!

Rating: 3 ½ out of 5

Mom and Dad Save the World (1992)

Title: Mom and Dad Save The World (1992)

Director: Greg Beeman

Writer: Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson

Cast: Jon Lovitz, Jeffrey Jones, Teri Garr, Eric Idle

Review:

I am a great admirer of the legendary English comedy troupe Monty Python, you know, the guys behind Monty Python and The Holy Grail (1975), Life of Brian (1979) and The Meaning of Life (1983), three movies I never get tired of watching. I love how their stuff seems silly, but actually talks about a lot of important themes and subject matter. If you’re a fan of the Monty Python guys like I am, then you also probably admire the films of director Terry Gilliam, who was at one point one of the Python guys, but then branched out to make films of his own. Films like Time Bandits (1981) and The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1989). Gilliam is yet another director who mixes comedy and satire in his films, he often times criticizes societies obsession with reality and preaches on about our god given right to delight in fantasies, escapism and stories! Mom and Dad Save the World seems to come from that same ‘Pythonesque’ universe, that universe that cares not for logic or rules, but for zaniness! 

In Mom and Dad Save the World we meet Dick and Marge Nelson, two loopy parents who are about to embark on a summer vacation, just the two of them, the kids stay at home. Unfortunately for Dick and Marge, millions of miles into space, Tod Spengo, ruler of planet Spengo has fallen madly in love with Marge, whom he has spotted while scoping the galaxy for a planet to destroy. Obsessed with Marge, Spengo uses his giant magnet and pulls her and Dick through space (along with their station wagon) all the way to the edge of the universe, where planet Spengo lies. Once they get their, they meet the self proclaimed ‘Spengoans’.  Their ruler, Tod Spengo, wants Marge as his Queen and wants to kill Dick, so he can have Marge all to himself. Too bad for Tod, Dick manages to escape and unite with the rebels of planet Spengo, whom he organizes to go on a revolt against Tod and his fascist (yet moronic) empire while rescuing his wife in the process!

So this movie is all kinds of fun for me, I really don’t get why it didn’t make more money way back when it was released in 1992. For some reason this film was completed in 1990 but not released by the studio until 1992. Why? I don’t know, but if you ask me to speculate either the studio wasn’t sure the movie was going to sell, they couldn’t figure out how to market it or maybe there was a change in management in the studio, these are usually the reasons why a studio would hold back a movie like that. Maybe they just thought they had a bad film in their hands. Who knows. The film had a budget of 16 million but only made back little more than 2 million. It only played for one week in theaters! Another problem the film probably encountered is that though from afar it looks like a silly film (and it is) it does have some double entendre jokes that might have made it difficult to sell it as a kids film. Had the titular parents taken the kids along in the adventure, instead of leaving them at home and brought down the raunchy jokes, then maybe they could have sold it as a kids film, as it is, this is a very silly film for adults. And that’s always a hard sell any way you look at it.

But whatever, I like the film the way it is. The art direction is really cool, the sets look like something out of a Dr. Seuss book and so do the creatures which range from killer mushrooms to midgets with the head of a dog or a fish, sounds crazy, I know, but that’s the kind of movie this is. The jokes are decidedly ‘Pythonesque’ in style, it’s obvious the writer and director adore Monty Python and Terry Gilliam style of comedy. One funny scene has the self proclaimed idiots from planet Spengo picking up a  weapon that makes anyone who touches it instantly disappear. One idiot picks it up and disappears, the next one picks it up and disappears, and the next one picks it up….all because the device says “pick me up”.  So the humor, while quite silly, is also quite good.

One of the best things about this movie though is the cast. Eric Idle plays King Raff, the true king of Planet Spengo! His role is a small one, but he makes his funny mark! I’ve personally always enjoyed Jon Lovitz’s style of humor, there’s something kind of sleazy about him that fits perfectly with the character of Tod Spengo, the dictator. I loved how he worries about the silliest things like “on a level of one to ten, in terms of world dominating greatness…where would you place me?” Teri Garr was always one of my favorites, I’ve been an admirer of hers sense she played sexy laboratory assistant ‘Inga’ in Mel Brook’s  Young Frankenstein (1974), here she plays the role of the quintessential mom, taking pictures of the galaxy as she travels through space on her station wagon. And Jeffrey Jones plays the goofy father well; similar to the role he played in Tim Burton’s Bettlejuice (1988), only on this one he ends up turning into an overweight Flash Gordon.

And speaking of Flash Gordon, at the end of the day, Mom and Dad Save the World is a huge spoof of Flash Gordon films. Fans of that Flash Gordon (1980) film starring Sam Jones and Max Von Sydow will notice that this film is practically the same exact film note for note. Just switch Sam Jones for Jeffrey Jones (they even share the same last name!) Max Von Sydow for Jon Lovitz and Melody Anderson for Teri Garr and you’ll see it’s the same exact movie. Even the rebels that Jeffrey Jones ends up leading are bird people of sorts! So yeah, they might as well have called this one “Dad Gordon”. So, anyways, this film was ambitious in my book, a lot of effort went into it for it to have died such a quick death at the box office; practically unnoticed by audiences. In my opinion, it deserves to find an audience and become a cult film, if it isn’t one already. Do you enjoy films like The Ice Pirates (1984), Spaceballs (1987) or Flash Gordon (1980)? Do you like Terry Gilliam or Monty Python? Then give Mom and Dad Save the World a chance, it’s got an innocence and a goofiness to it that can’t be found in today’s films because studios play it too safe nowadays and don’t dare spend their millions on something as offbeat as this film. Still not convinced, okay, it was written by the guys who brougth you the Bill and Ted's movies and directed by the guy who made License to Drive (1988)! Mom and Dad Save the World was made during the last half of the 80’s and though it was released in ’92, it still has that 80’s silliness to it that’s hard to come by in today’s cinematic landscape. So if you want to get your 80’s groove on, look no further than this.

Rating:  3 out of 5  

Total Recall (2012)

Title: Total Recall (2012)

Director: Len Wiseman

Writer: Kurt Wimmer, Mark Bomback

Cast: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel

Review:

I recently wrote an article in which I compared both versions of Total Recall: Paul Verhoeven’s 1990 film, and this new remake. On that article I pointed out the many differences and similarities between both films, because let’s face it, it’s kind of difficult not to compare the two, especially when you’re such a fan of the original one. But now that I’ve said my piece about both films, I feel like this new one is good enough to get its own review. So, here it is a review for Len Wiseman’s Total Recall, sans any comparisons to Verhoeven’s film. But remember, if you’re interested in reading about how the new and the old compare, don’t hesitate to check out my previous article which does just that in a pretty extensive way.

On this film we meet Douglas Quaid, a blue collar worker who can’t wait to escape his redundant life, he doesn’t know what it is he wants, but he knows he wants a change. While drinking at the local bar he asks his co-workers if they are happy with how their lives have turned out, spending their shitty pay drinking shitty beers in a shitty bar. Quaid wants more out of life, unfortunately he is stuck in his same-o same-o life. But salvation awaits! ‘Rekall’ is a company that sells you fake memories, they can implant fake memories into your brain and make you believe you’ve done whatever you ever wanted to do. Of course, Quaid finds all of this very titillating, it is exactly what he needs, the great escape. So Quaid ends up buying the ticket and taking the ride. Problems arise when the fake memory implants awaken a hidden personality which was lying dormant somewhere in the back of his mind. Now people are chasing him and trying to kill him! Is Douglas Quaid who he thinks he is, or is he someone else?

First things first, I loved the themes on this film. I’ve always said that the best sci-fi films are those that comment on the world we live in rather then just being a showcase for  special effects and I’m glad to say that this new Total Recall does just that, it comments on the way society is structured and on they way governments are operating, making their moves so to speak in order to keep a certain part of the population enslaved. Slavery isn’t over; it just changed its name. This new film makes us question the structure of society and if this is the way things should be. On this film when Douglas Quaid is on his way to work, he has to step onto this giant elevator to take what they call “The Fall”. Basically, the working class travels to their jobs by traversing through the core of the planet on this huge elevator. The thing we need to notice about this scene is how tired and bored everybody looks from doing the same thing every day.

Same as the working class that Chaplin portrayed as sheep in Modern Times (1936) or the workers who enter the giant elevator to work in Fritz Lang’s Metropolis (1927), the workers in Total Recall are portrayed as sheep as well. Interesting how going to work and commuting is called “The Fall”, the symbolisms didn’t escape me at all. It’s the idea that we are being treated as herd and that our lives are being wasted doing menial, repetitive jobs that lead our lives nowhere. I take the train to work everyday and can’t help to think we’re all sheep when I see so many people getting on and off the train, looking tired and bored out of their minds; like sheep in a heard in deed. Or rather, like lambs to the slaughter, day by day, the blue collar workers lives are sheered by the scissors of redundancy and time. Why does life have to be like this for some? Can’t life turn out to be something more interesting? Can it all be changed somehow? Can humanity focus their efforts on something more worthwhile? These are some of the questions that Total Recall considers.

This version of Total Recall is really about waking up from that slumber, about disconnecting from that dormant state and taking control of your lives. Quaid is about to take the ‘Rekall’ trip, which is really just a way to try and forget the world and live in a temporary state of bliss. In this film, Quaid is buying a fake escape, not unlike the fake escape that drugs and alcohol offer. These escapes are only temporary, when you wake up; your problems are still there. A smarter solution to redundancy would be to identify it and take the steps to eradicate it from our lives. In a way, Total Recall is also commenting on the stupidity of succumbing to mind numbing drugs to escape our problems. One thing is to use drugs for recreational purposes, but it’s far more damaging to use them to forget about your life, to ignore and escape your problems instead of facing them. There’s a quote from Joe Versus the Volcano (1990), by the way, one of my favorite films ever and a film that addresses some of the very issues that this new Total Recall film addresses; and that quote says: “My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and that they live in a state of constant amazement” I totally agree with this sentiment, and it’s what this new Total Recall film is talking about, waking up from that slumber; taking control of your life and doing what you really want with it.

In Quaid’s case, what he feels he needs to do with his life is joining the revolutionary movement so he can change the status quo of society, shake things up, destroy the old way of doing things and starting something new. The idea of destroying something in order to create something new is not a new idea in cinema or in life for that matter, but it is a path seldom taken by society. Big changes occur when old patterns of action are left behind; this I feel is something that has to happen in the world. Things have to change in order for everyone to be happy and free, in order for all of us to truly enjoy life. Not just a select few. Not just the rich and powerful, but everyone.

In the world of Total Recall, and in many parts of the real world we live in governments have taken steps to oppress the working class even further, while lying through their teeth about how they do it. The villains of this film are a dictator and his army of cops. The dictator tells the people that they are putting more cops on the street to protect the population, when in fact what they are really doing is gathering more cops to increment their own private little army with which to oppress. In this respect, Total Recall also reminded me a lot of those faceless cops in George Lucas’s THX-1138 (1971), by the way, THX-1138 was an obvious inspiration for this film. I’ve personally seen the powers that be increment their police force, only to use it against the population and to violate said populations humans rights. Not to protect it, but to oppress. But you wouldn’t know that from looking at the media, where they portray themselves as protectors of the people in television commercials and news articles paid by themselves, to make themselves look like heroes. The film is telling us not to stand idly as these vile creatures take over the world, that in order for a change to occur, people need to rise up from complacency.

Aside from these heavy themes, the film is a great sci-fi/action film, I was never bored. Tonally, it’s a more serious film than Verhoeven’s film, it's not looking to make you laugh with one liners or jokes every five seconds, it doesn’t feel as overtly kinetic as Verhoeven’s film and that’s fine, we couldn’t really expect Len Wiseman, the director of this film to do the same exact film in tone or feel. This Total Recall was going for something different. Yeah we go through the same beats and moments, and there’s a nudge or two to Verhoeven’s film, but in the end, this new Total Recall was trying it’s hardest to be something different. I love Verhoeven’s film for all its craziness, but I also loved this new Total Recall for different reasons, mainly, the awesome art direction, the futuristic technology, I mean, how cool where those hand phones? I enjoyed the decidedly rebellious tone and the flying car chase sequence! They really out did themselves with those scenes. In terms of fx and action, this one pulled no stops, it’s a chase movie with nonstop action. So many things worked just right on this one that I can’t bring myself to say I didn’t like it, because I did like it very much so, it’s not as fun or gory, but then again, it wasn’t trying to be.  

Rating: 4 out of 5