Seventh Son (2014)

Seventh Son (2014)

Director: Sergey Bodrov

Cast: Jeff Bridges, Ben Barnes, Julianne Moore, Djimon Hounsou, Olivia Williams, Jason Scott Lee

Sometimes movies get the shaft at the box office because of a lot of crap that goes on behind the scenes, stuff sometimes we as an audience are completely unaware of. For example, Terry Gilliam’s The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1989) was a huge box office bomb, not because it was a bad film, but because of a shift in administration at Columbia Pictures, and so the new head honchos treated the previous administrations films like crap, so Adventures of Baron Munchausen wasn’t promoted well, the result was an excellent film that died a quick death at the box office. Of course, now the film is considered one of Terry Gilliam’s best, but when it was first released a shift in administration at Columbia turned it into a 60 million dollar fiasco. A similar thing happened to Seventh Son, not that Seventh Son is anywhere near as awesome as Adventures of Baron Munchausen, but it is a film that deserved a better chance at the box office. For me, it’s a fun film that’s far from being terrible. The problem with Seventh Son was that it was produced by Legendary Pictures, who at one point were going to partner up with Warner Brothers to distribute the film (if you check the poster I've posted it actually has the WB logo!) but that partnership fell through and Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures parted ways. Then Legendary partnered up with Universal Pictures, but by then, the film’s release had lost momentum. The thing is that when movie buffs see constant delays and changes in release dates they get the feeling that the film isn’t going to be that good, because the studio is stalling its release. Film buffs can sniff a stinker from miles away! I myself felt the delay was because the film wasn’t going to be that good. What did I know about a shift in partnerships between studios? So the film was a box office bomb in the United States which at least made its budget back with its worldwide intake. Still, I feel American audiences could have given this one a better chance.

Seventh Son is all about a Master Gregory, a sorcerer who dedicates his life to killing monsters, demons and witches. He has an apprentice, but loses him in a battle with an evil witch called Mother Malkin; so since a sorcerer cannot be without an apprentice, now Master Gregory has to find a new apprentice, The Seventh Son of a Seventh Son. You see, supposedly, the seventh son of a seventh son makes perfect sorcerers’ apprentice. So Gregory is searching for that special young man. Once he finds him, they have to team up to go up against Mother Malkin, before she becomes all powerful and rules the land with her coven of witches.

The thing about Seventh Son is that it was actually entertaining. I was ready to rip it a new one, because honestly, I was expecting a terrible film. The fact that the studio held this one back for so long made me raise a red flag. Usually when a studio gets cold feet with the release of a movie, it’s because the movie is bad and they are looking for just the right moment in which to release it so it won’t have much competition at the box office.  Also, who the hell was this director? I knew nothing of Sergey Bodrov’s body of work, I didn’t know what to expect. I had no basis of comparison. Thankfully the film turned my expectations around. Almost immediately Jeff Bridges portrayal of Master Gregory got me to like the film, I mean, here’s Jeff Bridges breathing life into this character, he gave it a real unique persona, I liked that about it. Bridges infused the character with just the right amount of comedy and charisma. So much so that some reviews say that it’s Bridges Master Gregory that saves the film. I have to say that it certainly is one of the films high points, but the film has other good things going for it as well.

You see, this is a fantasy film along the lines of let’s say, Willow (1988), Legend (1985) or Krull (1983); films in which our heroes exist in a magical land filled with monsters, magic and witches. On these types of films, the main character goes from zero to hero, sometimes in a matter of seconds and obviously, always going through a quick training montage with their ‘master’. In this sense, Seventh Son is not original at all, which is one of the reasons it doesn’t get a perfect score from me. You see, this film goes through all the cliché’s of a heroes journey, finding his magical sword in a magical cave…being trained by his master and finally, seeing  the main character put what his learned to good use in his first adventure. But it’s all cool, because it surprised me that Seventh Son actually took some of those clichés and turned them around. For example, there’s a moment in which the apprentice, Tom Ward, finds a magical sword and grabs it from the hands of a corpse, a scene that reminded me of identical scenes in Conan the Barbarian (1982) and Legend (1985), then the film surprises me and has the spirit of the former owner of the sword actually fight with Tom for his sword! So while Seventh Son isn’t completely original, it still has the ability to surprise you at certain points. It's well aware of fantasy movie cliche's so it tries its best to turn them around. The dialog is quick and witty because the filmmakers know that we're savvy, so the dialog gets to the point rather quickly, it doesn't stall.

Films like Seventh Son are essentially monster films; they exist to wow us with their monsters. Remember the two headed dragon in Willow (1988)? Or Meg Mucklebones, the water witch from Legend (1985)? How about the army of Skeletons in Jason and the Argonauts (1963)? All show stopping monsters! Well, Seventh Son is this kind of film, filled to the brim with monsters at every turn. I enjoyed the creatures on this one, in fact this film felt like a homage to all those old Ray Harryhausen fantasy films like Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977) or Clash of the Titans (1981). Actually, one of the creatures that they fight in Seventh Son feels like a total update of the Kali Statue that Sinbad fights in The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973). So at least the filmmakers behind Seventh Son knew exactly the kind of film they were making. They made sure the monsters were awesome to behold. Modern “monster films” sometimes offer us generic monsters that we can’t really take a good look at, in Seventh Son the monsters are a showcase and I have to admit I loved that about it. Not only that, I found them to be well animated. The only time I like computer generated images is when they are done right, and on this show they got the monsters right. The only negative thing I can say about the effects is that they decided to use morphing effects, which I think are out dated. Sadly they use them on Seventh Son all the time, which was a huge let down. So the computer effects go from freaking awesome, to not so freaking awesome and in that sense the film is a bit uneven. But I will say that in terms of effects, the good out weights the bad.

Above, a creature from Seventh Son (2014), below The Kali Statue from The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)

So what we got here ladies and gentlemen is not a classic or a masterpiece, but a damn fun fantasy film with cool monsters and a cool character thanks to Jeff Bridges Master Gregory, who infuses enough comedy and charisma into the proceedings to keep us entertained. The monsters are cool, and the film harkens back to the old Harryhausen fantasy classics, where monsters mattered! And speaking of the monsters and the effects on this movie, the visual effects were produced by John Dykstra, the visual effects genius who's worked in films like Star Wars (1977), Lifoforce (1985) and Spiderman (2002) among many other effects heavy films, so this is probably the reason why the monsters on this film are so cool. Plus it has an excellent cast. We even get a The Big Lebowski (1998) reunion with Jeff Bridges and Julianne Moore working together again. The only thing that brings it down is that it isn’t all that original, and the CGI is sometimes off. But otherwise, we have a fun film you should give a chance to if you like fantasy and monster films.

Rating: 4 out of 5  

  

R.I.P.D. (2013)

Title: R.I.P.D. (2013)

Director: Robert Schwentke

Cast: Jeff Bridges, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Bacon, Mary-Louise Parker, James Hong

I’m sure that as a concept the idea for R.I.P.D. must have sounded good to the people behind this film. I mean, dead cops fighting ghosts and monsters? Sounds cool alright, I mean, with the right crew behind the film, this thing could have been like a mix between Ghostbusters and Men In Black. Unfortunately, judging by the resulting film, the crew behind R.I.P.D. weren’t really interested in making a decent picture. So what we’re talking about here is the first true turkey of the Summer 2013 season. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re saying, wasn’t The Lone Ranger (2013) the biggest flop of the summer? And you’d be right, The Lone Ranger did lose a lot of money, but at least it didn’t fail because it was a bad film, it failed because it was about cowboys, and kids don’t give a crap about cowboys nowadays. If you ask me, The Lone Ranger is actually a good western that got ignored by audiences because it was bad mouthed even before it was released. I hate it when that happens! But back to R.I.P.D., now here’s a dud that failed because simply put, it’s wasn’t a good film at all, it’s just so average. And this comes from a fan of sci-fi and horror! Where did R.I.P.D. go wrong?

In R.I.P.D. we are presented with Nick, a police officer who bites the bullet in the first five minutes of the film. When he goes to the afterlife, he learns that when police officers die they immediately join an undead police force called R.I.P.D. which stands for Rest in Peace Department, get it? So anyhow, Nick is assigned to work with Roy (Jeff Bridges) who in accordance to buddy cop movie rule #579 immediately hates his new partner. Jesus, when will they ever break with these silly cliché’s in buddy cop movies? Don’t they realize they are making the same damn movie for the millionth time? So anyway Nick and Roy partner up to find some undead dude who wants to destroy the tunnel that people take to go to heaven? Will they manage to stop him before the undead roam the earth?

The concept of undead cops fighting ghost and goblins is a good one, unfortunately the movie these guys made isn’t. Okay, think of the possibilities of cops fighting ghosts? It just sounds cool don’t it? Unfortunately Robert Schwentke, the director behind this film and the writers Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi decided to focus all their strengths into making their own version of a MIB movie but with ghosts instead of aliens, as a result the concept immediately looses any possibility of novelty. You feel you’ve been there and done that, but without Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones and without Rick Baker doing the cool make up effects. What you get though is wisecracking Ryan Reynolds playing the rookie cop and Jeff Bridges playing a grouchy cowboy, similar to the one he played in the Coen Bros. film True Grit (2010). I mean, this is such a rip off of Men in Black that you can literally take any character from R.I.P.D. and find its counterpart in Men In Black. R.I.P.D. is a Xerox copy with zero originality, and you can put that on your dvd cover if you want, free of charge.

On top of all that, the movie is kind of afraid to embrace the kind of film it’s supposed to be, which is an ailment that many films dealing with horror elements are suffering from in todays modern cinematic landscape. I mean, with very few exceptions, like Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead (2013), truly horrifying films have been disappearing from cinemas. And so what we get are these watered down versions of horror, which is just sad. Do you think the folks behind Dead Heat (1988), the movie about two cops who become zombies, were afraid of the fact that they were making a zombie film? Hell no! They made a damn good zombie/buddy cop movie! And they made no apologies about it! With R.I.P.D., we’re talking about a film that deals with the supernatural, the undead, about ghosts, it’s common sense that the film needed to be spookier, scarier, we’re dealing with freaking ghosts here man! It would have been a good idea to mix the comedy with the horror. The way Ghostbusters (1984) or Beetlejuice (1989) did? Instead, the movie is so squeaky clean it doesn’t feel like a movie about ghosts, it doesn’t even feel like a movie about the supernatural. Hell, even the ghosts don’t look like ghosts! And here’s where the film really failed for me. Every single one of its creatures where terrible computer generated images, I mean, just atrocious! And that’s one thing that they didn’t manage to duplicate from the MIB films, the excellent make up and visual effects. I mean in Men In Black 3 (2012) for example, the visual and make up effects were top notch! The movie might have been simple as hell, but the effects were entertaining an extremely well achieved. On R.I.P.D. they failed to deliver good effects, the character designs where just banal. The one thing that matters the most in a movie of this kind -the monsters- where not handled well at all and that my friends is what brought this movie down to the ground.

Is there anything good to say about R.I.P.D.? Well, the one saving grace the film has is Bridges and Reynolds keeping things fun with their banter. But then again, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before in thousands of other buddy cop films. The older cop hates his new partner, you know how that goes, they have to learn to appreciate each other for who they are and so forth. There’s a couple of funny ideas squeezed in there, like the fact that the undead has to get into a bathroom and flush the toilet to go to the real world, or the fact that Ryan Reynolds looks like James Hong to humans, and Bridges looks like a super hot model, which creates some funny moments, but you kind of feel they could have milked that premise a bit more. Well, over all, that’s it my friends. R.I.P.D. is a missed opportunity, a film based on a comic book with a nifty premise that unfortunately spawned a very derivative film. You might have some goofy fun with this one, but I say wait for it on dvd and even then, don’t expect too much. Afterwards, you’ll feel like the MIB used their brain washing machine on ya.

Rating: 2 ½ out of 5   

TRON:Legacy (2010)

Title: TRON: Legacy (2010)

Director: Joseph Kosinski

Cast: Jeff Bridges, Garrett Hedlund, Olivia Wilde

Review:

TRON:Legacy was one of the most anticipated films of 2010, and most of that anticipation comes from the fact that this film is a sequel to Walt Disney’s groundbreaking science fiction film TRON (1982). Like many people, I don’t think that the original film is anything amazing in terms of storytelling or action adventure (actually me thinks the film is kind of slow) but it did offer up some interesting visuals. Hell, it was also one of the first films to ever use computer animation, along with Disney’s The Black Hole (1979). Computer animation has grown by leaps and bounds since 1982, so this new TRON flick has the task of improving the effects we saw on the original film and if it attempts to be as ground breaking film as its predecessor, then it will try and take computer effects to a whole new level. Did this new film achieve its goals?

TRON: Legacy tells the story of Sam Flynn, son of Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) the creator of one of the most successful games ever, TRON. Sam, his son has always lived his life plagued by the fact that one day his father said “see you later”, got on his motorcycle and then disappeared from the face of the earth. If you saw the first TRON then you know that Kevin Flynn disappeared because he inserted himself into the TRON program and then was unable to escape. The computer program where Kevin inserts himself into, know as “The Grid” in the film, is a Matrix of sorts where a whole different society exists. It basically is a mirror image of earth. One night, Sam decides to fool around with his fathers old computers and accidently transports himself in The Grid, same as his father all those years ago. Now he must try and adapt and survive in this new world that is apparently being run by a despotic ruler named CLU. Will Sam ever reconnect with his father?

The thing about this new movie is that it’s not the end all be all that a lot of people are expecting. First off, let me warn you guys about the supposed 3-D. It’s yet another scam. It’s not 3-D at all, and that my friends pissed me the hell off. It pulled a Clash of the Titans (2010) on us! I felt cheated, there was no need to “convert” this movie to 3-D because the effect simply does not work. The movie had amazing visuals, but they weren’t 3-D. You’ll enjoy this one just fine without having to pay the extra cash, so do yourself a favor and see this one 2-D. I’m sick and tired of studios doing this to the audience, cheating them out of their hard earned cash. No doubt many people will go see it expecting to see some mind blowing 3-D, and I don’t blame them since Disney has hyped the 3-D angle in all the previews. Sadly, audiences will be disappointed, same as I was. Hell, even Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010) had better 3-D effects then this new TRON movie. I blame Disney for hiping this one as the end all be all of 3-D films, when in fact it was anything but that! You just know something is fishy when the film starts out with a disclaimer letting you know that this film was originally intended to be seen in 2-D and not on 3-D.

Aside from that, we have the script which was extremely similar to other films. First of all the movie is kind of, sort of a remake. This movie pulls an Evil Dead 2 on us by offering a bigger budgeted, slightly altered  yet extremely similar version of the original film. It is a sequel because they do reference events from the first film, but when you look at it, the film plays out exactly the same way the original one did. Person gets sent to “the grid”, person gets a new suit, has to participate in some games and win, and then he must travel to a portal where he will finally face off the evil despotic leader. When you look at it, it’s the first film step by step. We have the disk fight, we have the motorcycle race, they even travel on a ship that travels on a beam of light. It was too similar. On top of that, the film has elements from The Dark Knight and The Matrix, right down to having Sam Flynn be the heir to a big company and not wanting to accept responsibility and having to reprogram everyone so they wont continue being slaves to the system and all that. I did like the films themes, I mean, I’m a sucker for a film where the good guys go up against an evil ruler, but even I must admit that that’s been done to death.

It does play with some original themes. Like for example Clu, the films villain is amassing a private army! That’s a sign of an evil ruler if there ever was one! So when Clu learns that the media (run by a guy named Zuse) will be allowing some rebels to get their word out about starting a revolution, Clu decides to wipe out the entertainment mogul. I thought this was an interesting way of talking about the control of the media by governments who want to control the publics opinion. Governments know the power that media and entertainment has. Films are censored because the powers that be know how powerful films are in terms of getting ideas through to people. So I enjoyed how the film commented on the power of the media over peoples opinion. 

Jeff Bridges as Kevin Flynn comes off as a futuristic version of ‘El Duderino’ from The Big Lebowski (1998). On Tron, Flynn represents the hippies from the 60’s and 70’s who were a hell of a lot more rebellious then the kids nowadays. In a way, the film is telling the younger generation to stand up against the evil, to speak up, to change things. It’s telling them not to stay comfortable at home playing video games and watching movies, go out there and give a damn about what’s going on in the world or the bad guys are going to win. So what we got here ladies and gentlemen is a subversive film from the folks at Disney. Actually, Disney has been making a lot of these types of films recently, which just points at one thing: art is reflecting life. 

One thing the film does get extremely right are its visual effects which as expected, were good. Technically speaking, the film is great. The colors, the cgi, and just the look of the film were entertaining and beautiful to look at. Everything is slick looking and futuristic, the colors are awesome. The red is the bad guys, the blue the good guys. But on thing did let me down about the special effects. I didn’t like how the CLU character looked. He is supposed to look like a younger version of Jeff Bridges, but in my opinion it just didn’t work. I mean, the performance looks stiff somehow. I thought they would be breaking new ground with that effect, but it turned out to be another stiff performance from a CGI character. I guess this movie proves once and for all that real actors will never be replaced by CGI characters, no way no how!

Another thing they got right was the music, by Daft Punk. I’m a huge fan of Daft Punk and have been enjoying their futuristic beats and sounds for years. They even cameo in the movie at one point during a sequence that takes place inside of a disco. Their music sounds so robotic, it fits perfectly in the world of TRON. This is without a doubt a soundtrack to keep.  

Daft Punk make a cameo

So my friends, what we got here is a decent sequel, a film that's extremely subversive in nature. It pays homage to the original while injecting things with new updated ideas. It's like watching the first film with modern effects. It's extremely anti-system all the way. It's against governments that want to control every single little aspect of our lives. It's a film that is firmly about fighting for our freedom to exist in this world. It's stylish to the max with visuals that are a delight to the eyes. TRON: Legacy was obviously designed to perfection by talented individuals; looking forward to other films from Kosinski. 

Rating: 4 out of 5

 

Starman (1984)

Title: Starman (1984)

Director: John Carpenter

Cast: Jeff Bridges, Karen Allen

Review:

John Carpenter’s specialty is horror films, there is no denying that that’s what the man does best, it’s what he is good at. But often times he is seen only as a horror film director, when in reality, he has directed many types of films that have nothing to do with horror. Dark Star (1974) is essentially a sci-fi comedy, Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) is an action/suspense film, Big Trouble in Little China (1986) is an action/adventure/fantasy film. And believe it or not, Carpenter even dabbled in making a romantic film. As fate would have it, it’s a damn good one! Circa 1984 Carpenter directed Starman, which is not the kind of film you would expect John Carpenter to direct. Why? Because it’s a freaking love story that’s why and love films aren’t exactly what Carpenter is known for. But, there it is, and if you ask me, though a bit derivative of other films, this sci-fi love story stands as one of Carpenter’s best films. Go figure!

Box Office success is that way, follow me!

Story goes like this: one night, a lonely widow mourns the death of her husband by watching super-8 films they made together. In this home movies, they appear doing all sorts of happy things together. Essentially, she is torturing herself psychologically. She can’t seem to move on with her life. But one night everything changes when an alien being lands right smack in the middle of her living room as she sleeps! The alien looks through some of her picture albums, and finds a picture of her dead husband, the proceeds to morph into his image! So now, she has to deal with the fact that this alien being in her living room looks exactly like her dead husband! What does he want with her? Will she help the alien get back home? Or will she turn him in to the authorities that are after him?

They dont call him Starman for nothing!

As I saw this movie, something immediately came to mind. This is essentially the same story we saw a couple of years before in E.T. The Extraterrestrial (1982). The only difference being that this alien doesn’t look like a walking turd with hands and feet; the alien in this film looks like Jeff Bridges. But seriously folks, this is the same damn movie, only with a better looking alien. You know the drill; the alien is stranded on earth and needs to get back home before the men in black get to it. The alien sends a message to his race to come pick him up, and so he must wait for them to get here. And he must arrive at a predetermined destination to meet up with them, so he can go back home. If he stays on earth, he dies. See what I mean? It’s the exact same story! Hell, you know how E.T. resurrects a dead plant in Spielberg’s film? Jeff Bridges resurrects a whole deer! The similarities are too many to mention here, just watch it with these similarities in mind and you’ll see what I mean.

But there was a reason behind all these similarities. You see, the script for Starman was being written at the same time as the script for E.T. The Extraterrestrial. So suddenly there was this tug of war over which of the two scripts was going to get made. The head honcho at Columbia Pictures needed to chose between producing E.T. or producing Starman, and he chose Starman. So E.T. went to Spielberg and Universal, while Starman went to Carpenter and Columbia Pictures. It was one of those situations where two studios were involved in making extremely similar films, eventually one fed on the success of the other. Same situation happened when Fox was making The Abyss (1990). When other studios smelled success with underwater films, they all started producing their own underwater monster features. Suddenly Tri Star Pictures was making Deep Star Six (1989) and MGM was making Leviathan (1989). Or when Tom Hanks made the child turns into an adult film Big (1988) over at 20 Century Fox. Suddenly other studios produced similarly themed films like Columbia Pictures’ Vice Versa (1988) and Tri Star Pictures’ Like Father, Like Son (1987). The phenomenal success of Spielberg’s E.T. had a lot to do with Starman getting made a couple of years down the line.

Spielberg, I'll steal your formula for success yet!

Essentially, I see Starman as a more adult version of E.T. But what if instead of him befriending a little boy, he falls for a super hot chick? Basically, they made a few changes on the formula established by E.T., making the story more adult oriented and not so kid/family friendly. I have to say that it works like magic. It gives Starman a unique adult feel that you don’t get from Spielberg’s take on the same theme, which let’s face it, can get sappy at times. I mean, Starman ends up banging the human he befriends! So this film has more balls (pun intended!) then E.T. ever did. And I'll go even further still with this E.T./Starman thing: In 1982 John Carpenter made The Thing and we all know what an awesome movie that is. I mean, its great an all grounds, suspense, effects, gore, horror. I feel its Carpenter's best film, yet in spite of all its awesomeness, The Thing failed to connect with audiences in 1982. It was a HUGE failure for Carpenter and that failure can be attributed to the fact that The Thing went up against Spielberg's feel good alien flick at the box office. Any film going up against E.T. that summer was going to die a quick death, and that's exactly what happened to The Thing. Now, here comes Carpenter with Starman in what feels like vengeful venture and says: "Im gonna do the same damn thing! I'm gonna copy your formula for success! And its gonna be awesome! And its going to be for adults!" Carpenter wanted to prove he could also make a feel good movie, and at the same time he ripped off the film that had cost him his first big failure at the box office. So I completely understand where Carpenter was coming from by making this love story.

But don't get me wrong, I don’t mean to bash on Starman. Even though it has some similarities with E.T. and Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1979) Starman still manages to conjure up some originality with its situations and images. For example, how awesome was that transformation sequence in the beginning of the film when the alien being suddenly starts to morph into a human? This was a truly outlandish sequence that freaked me the hell out. Kudos to Stan Winston and Rick Baker for pulling off that unique effect before CGI ever existed! And how original was that sequence where Jeff Bridges uses his alien spheres to float in the air while sending a message to his alien pals? I thought that was such a unique image. Plus, Jeff Bridges character is one of those characters that makes everything alright, he is sort of god like in that sense. The dude is so freaking powerful that his powers extend to resurrecting the dead and making an unfertile woman pregnant! God like in deed!

After we get past the sci-fi angle the films turns into a love story. Karen Allen (looking super-hot by the way!) falls for the alien, and really, can you blame her if the alien looks, talks and is 100% anatomically similar to her husband? I felt like I was watching Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in Ghost (1989) because even though it’s a love story, it still has a freaky angle to it. It’s a film about an alien and a human girl falling in love, and that’s freaky anyway you look at it. Yet all the right notes are played out to make it a good love story. Kudos to Carpenter for pulling that off! Carpenter’s only purpose for making a film like this one was to make up for the huge box office flop that The Thing (1982) ended up being. He had to do something or else his career as a Hollywood director would have gone down the drains! So he went with Starman. Good thing for Carpenter that Starman ended up being a moderate box-office success, making a little more then its budget back. Another thing that helped Carpenter’s career was that Starman received a bunch of awards all around, including an Oscar nod for Jeff Bridges’ performance. After Starman, Carpenter continued trying to hit box office success by getting away from horror. He ended up making Big Trouble in Little China, which to Carpenters chagrin, also ended up being a dismal box office bomb. How did Carpenter manage to stay afloat as a director when his rate of success was so uneven? He played it safe by making two low budget movies back to back, that's what he did! These films ended up being They Live (1988) and Prince of Darkness (1987). He sure knew how to juggle his career between his box office lows and downs that's for sure. Gotta give Carpenter credit for that!

Rating: 4 out of 5

 

Jeff Bridges, enjoying success next to his father (Lloyd Bridges) on premire night

The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)

Title: The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)

Director: Grant Heslov

Cast: George Clooney, Kevin Spacey, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges

Writer: Peter Straughan based on the book by Jon Ronson

Sometimes, things that happen in the real world are a million times stranger then fiction. Take for example “The First Earth Batallion”. The First Earth Batallion was a secret U.S. Military group that was being trained to use psychic powers against the enemy! This group of soldiers was lead by a hippy/new wave activist/environmentalist Jim Channon. Basically, the U.S. Military gave Channon the okay to experiment with the idea of creating an army that could use mental powers in battle. Supposedly, these “warrior monks” were being trained to do all sorts of new agey bullshit like:

- moving things with the power of their minds

- phasing through walls

- seeing into the past or into the future

- talking to spirits

- having out of body experiences

- telepathy

- stopping the heart of an enemy with the powers of the mind

Of course, these soldiers never really developed any of these special powers (big surprise there!) and the project was shelved. I’m actually extremely surprised that the military actually went as far as they did with this whole stupid idea. They actually went ahead and bought hundreds of goats so that the “warrior monks” or Jedi’s (yeah they actually called themselves Jedi Warriors) could try and stop their hearts with the powers of their minds! There were manuals written, there were designs for special warrior monk uniforms, I mean, this thing got out of hand! Strangely enough, some of the psychological warfare tactics did crossover into real life practical use. The U.S. Army has been known to use psychological torture techniques that stem from Channon’s techniques and research. Like for example, the U.S. Army has been known to play the theme song to the Barney children’s television show for hours on end to Iraqi prisoners of war. But most of the other ideas Channon had to offer (like talking to spirits) were completely eliminated. A couple of years down the line, Jon Ronson -an English journalist- wrote a book on the whole thing which ended up being the movie I will be reviewing today. The Men Who Stare at Goats.

The book on which the film is based on

Basically, the movie follows Bob Wilton, an English journalist who decides to go and cover the Iraq war. While there, he encounters Special Forces operator Lyn Cassidy, who lets Bob in on his secret mission involving meeting up with the creator of the “New Earth Battalion” Bill Django. Will they ever meet up with Bill? Is this whole “New Earth Battalion” thing real? Do these guys really have any psychic abilities or super powers? Bob Wilton decides to follow Lyn Cassidy in order to get to the truth.

I found this movie really interesting for various reasons. Number one, I think it’s absolutely bonkers that the U.S. Military was involved in something like this. I mean, come on, talking to spirits? Phasing through walls? To me, this whole thing just proves one thing: the world is under the control of mad men! They actually spent time and money on this thing! In real life! But whatever, that point aside, the movie decides to take a very interesting route as well.

The religious leader of the "New Earth Battalion"

In the film Jeff Bridges plays the role of Bill Django, the man in charge of creating this new kind of warrior for the United States government. And in the film, he functions very much like a religious leader to this military unit. The soldiers have to repeat a prayer; they give themselves entirely to the guidance of Django, they have to congregate. For all intents and purposes Bill Django is their spiritual guide. So right there and then I said, the film is commenting on religion. On cults. Jamestown and Waco Texas instantly popped into mind. And its true, this is precisely what the film comments on. These men all put their trust in Mr. Django’s new agey philosophy and way of life. He tells them that they will all develop these special powers, that they will all be able to achieve these incredible feats, which by the way seem to come straight out of a comic book. But the unit goes with it, because they trust Django. They trust that he knows what he is talking about because he just seems so enlightened. Or maybe he knows how to talk a lot of bull crap really well?

George Clooney plays Lyn Cassady, the follower; the guy who’s put his complete trust in Django’s teachings. The guy who will do whatever Django tells him to. In many ways, Clooney’s Lyn represents the people who will follow a religious leader to the ends of the earth (something Lyn does in the movie by the way) and live and breathe by their leader’s teachings. One could say that Clooney is blindly following Bill, same way many people will blindly follow a religious leader. Cassidy reads fervently from a manual written by Django for his New Earth Battalion, kind of like the same way religious individuals can read from a holy book, like the bible, the Koran or the Book of Mormon. It is aluded in the film that Lyn was looking for something to believe in, and Django, through his New Earth Battalion, gave him exactly what he was looking for. Which is really what happens to a lot of people looking for spiritual guidance through a religion, they are looking for something to believe in, something to guide them and give them peace in this crazy world. Give things a purpose, an answer.

On the film, Django wants to promote peace and love in the world. In Django’s book, the planet and nature are number one. Peace is the real objective of the New Earth Battalion; their main objective is finding resolution to conflict through the use of non lethal methods. All of Django’s teachings are based on these ideals. In my book, these ideals that Django teaches in the film are good and could actually help make the world a better place. I’m all for peace in the world, the unification of the countries, the end of war. But why did Django feel he needed to link fantasy elements (or the "hippy bullshit" as they are referred to in the film) along with these ideals? Phasing through walls and moving things with the power of the mind are a complete fantasy and go in contrast with the other very real teachings he promoted. Teachings about attainable things like peace, love and unification of the world. This is the same thing that happens in some religions, like Scientology for example, where they offer you this whole way of life that can supposedly help you achieve all your goals and dreams.Unfortunately, if you read the fine print you'll find out that you have to also believe alien warlords named Xenu, and in ghost aliens. Oh and add time traveling to that list. Some religions offer people a new positive way of life. Many of them have teachings based on love and compassion, which are all great things in my book. But why do they feel the need to lace that with a bunch of fantasies that don’t have an iota of truth to them? This is something the film addresses as well, I won’t comment any further so you’ll come to your own conclusions after you see the film.

Free the Goats from their mental slavery!

George Clooney shines as the Lieutenant Lyn Cassidy. He plays his character in a very goofy absent minded manner; a guy who has gone a bit coo-coo with Django’s teachings. He believes it all to be true, and in some ways this helps him get through life, and in others, it doesn’t. He often times gets into a lot of trouble because he thinks he has these special abilities. But also, by just thinking he has them helps him as well. In this way the film comments on how religion can become sort of a psychological comfort cushion. You think you got somebody watching over you, you feel more confident, you dare to achieve more. That’s fine and dandy, but me, I rather rely on my own inner strength and confidence to achieve things then in some mystical invisible being that’s supposed there yet we never see or hear. I guess some people need that additional psychological back up, and all those perfect pre-packaged shinny answers to everything, so as they say, more power to them. I like to live with my feet firmly placed on reaffirming reality. You want to tell me that love, peace and companion are things we have to live by? Sure, Ill buy that for a dollar. Just leave all the new agey hippy bullshit out of it!

Rating: 4 out of 5