Juan de los Muertos (2011)

Title: Juan de los Muertos, a.k.a. Juan of the Dead  (2011)

Directed: Alejandro Brugues

Cast: Alexis Díaz de Villegas, Jorge Molina, Andrea Duro, Andros Perugorria, Jazz Vila

Review:

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine made a trip to Cuba for scholastic reasons. She lived and went to school there; so she had the whole ‘Cuban Experience’. According to the stories she brought back from her trip, going to Cuba can be a cultural shock for anyone accustomed to the comforts that capitalism has to offer. But the best part of the whole ordeal was that she came back with these beautiful pictures of streets filled with cars from the 1950’s, huge cemeteries filled with these awesome looking tombstones and the city, which is made up of old buildings that looked like something straight out of a post apocalyptic film. The first thought that popped into my head? Cuba would make a great setting for a zombie flick! Well, low and behold a couple of months later I heard they were shooting ‘Juan de los Muertos’ there. I was excited to see the film because I’ve made two DIY zombie films myself Cannabis Cannibal (2008) and Cannabis Cannibal Exodus (2009), two very low budget ‘guerrilla style’ films that people have grown to love. So the prospect of making a full blown zombie movie (read: a film with a real budget) that takes place in the Caribbean is something that I’ve always wanted to do myself; but alas, director Alejandro Brugues went ahead and did it before me. The question remained in my mind: Would it have the necessary production values to be a good zombie flick? Could they pull off a zombie apocalypse convincingly and would it be a memorable film?

Juan de los Muertos tells the story of a pair of slackers, Juan and his best buddy Lazaro. They like living in Cuba because their life is a very laid back one, all they’ve chosen to worry about is fishing and stealing in order to survive. They get by through life looking for the next hustle, simply put, they are used to living in a constant struggle, but with little worries about being successful or achieving anything. Problem is that life has other plans for them, like making them face a zombie apocalypse head on! One day as Juan and Lazaro are fishing, they catch a zombie instead of a fish! Suddenly everyone in Cuba is turning into zombies! Juan being a survivor and an opportunist, dreams up a way of capitalizing on the whole thing: he will kill your zombified loved ones for you. Kind of like The Ghostbusters, but for zombies! How long will the business go on? 

Chilling Out During The end of the World

So first things first, I loved this freaking movie! It has all the things you want and need in a zombie movie, like gore and cool looking zombies, but above all things what I loved most about Juan de los Muertos was how mordantly funny it was! And here’s what I love about seeing horror films from other parts of the world: they bring a fresh new element to a genre that’s otherwise worn. I mean, seriously, how many zombie movies have you seen where they simply go through the same types of conversations and situations? Juan de los Muertos offers this up: a fresh new take on the zombie genre. The simple fact that the film takes place entirely in Cuba and the way Cuban people act and talk is what made it such a refreshing watch for me. Unfortunately, maybe some of the humor will be lost on American audiences, because some of the jokes are very, very Cuban. The kind of jokes you’d only understand if you’ve lived there, or understand what Cuba is all about. But fear not, for the most part I think anyone can find humor on this one. The motley crew of zombie killers is really what makes it so funny. Take for example Juan, the protagonist of the film. He’s a slacker, he’s got a girlfriend he visits sometimes for sex, but she’s married! He’s not a very good father. His daughter hates him; she doesn’t even call him dad because he steals from her, his own daughter! His best friend sticks to Juan like glue and has no problems kicking the living daylights out of some dude that owes him money. Another member of the group is a transvestite who goes around stealing radios from cars because as she says “I have to survive somehow”. Another one kills zombies while smoking weed! So we got this really crazy group of individuals whom we follow through out the whole film, the cast made things livelier and funnier than they could have been.

Thematically speaking, the film touches upon many political issues, one of them being the never ending struggle between capitalism vs. socialism. Which is the best? Which has proven to be most successful in the world? I like the fact that the film does not idealize the way socialism has treated Cuba. There is an idealized form of socialism, one in which we are all equal, and then there’s the form of socialism currently existent in Cuba, where everyone except the government is the same: the people are extremely poor while the government gets the best of everything. To me that’s just another form of dictatorship, and of course living in a country like that must be a real struggle. I’ve never personally been to Cuba, but I have family members and friends who have traveled there, and the stories they bring back are of really good, kind people living in the middle of chaotic socio-political situation. Politics reigns supreme over peoples lives, and big brother is most certainly watching you. It’s the kind of town were freedom of speech is none existent and speaking against the government will get you into serious amounts of trouble. People have to really hustle to get by, which is exactly the kind of character Juan is. Many Cubans are tired of living on that constant struggle and for many, leaving the island is the solution to all their problems, which is a theme reflected on Juan de los Muertos. Consequently, my own film Cannabis Cannibal Exodus speaks of the same theme; it’s why it’s called EXODUS, which refers to leaving. It’s the idea that things are so messed up in your country, that you have no choice but to leave it all behind and search for new horizons elsewhere. I also thought it was interesting how the film isn’t one sided with these themes, while some want to leave and see that as the solution to their problems, others will want to stay in Cuba and try and improve it, change it. So the film isn’t’ preachy or one sided, its pretty even handed with the political themes it touches upon.

And how is Juan de los Muertos as a zombie flick? Well, I have to say I was extremely pleased with it, in fact is surpassed my expectations. While at first it is obviously similar to Shaun of the Dead (2004) in certain scenes, specifically when the humans see zombies on the streets and to them it’s the same as seeing regular people on the streets everyday, I’d say that’s about as close as it gets in terms of similarities with that film. Juan of the Dead is its own creature. It has more then one memorable zombie sequence, but one really blew me away. The good guys kill hundreds of zombies in one swoop, not gonna spoil it but that scene was ultra cool. The film pays its respects to the king of zombie movies, George Romero, by having an America zombie killer introduced into the story who looks exactly like George Romero, right down to the huge glasses and the wide eyed look. One scene blew me away, where we literally see thousands of zombies walking beneath the ocean…I mean, the zombie gags on this movie just kept coming and coming.

Technically, the film looks beautiful. I think this is one of the films greatest strengths. It was very well shot. Same as with the Brazilian zombie flick Porto Dos Mortos (2010), which to me was that much more special simply because we get to see these awesome vistas of Brazil, the fact that Juan de los Muertos was shot entirely in Cuba offers us some beautiful vistas of  Cuba, a city in decay. Cuba is a really beautiful island with many beautiful places in which one could shoot a film, but this film focused mostly on the urban landscape of Cuba rather then the mountains and the more nature oriented vistas that the island has to offer; which in the other hand is what sets it apart. Cuba is made up of crumbling buildings which the government doesn’t care to fix up. A building might be literally falling apart on people, and no one will do anything to fix it! On the other hand government buildings are impressive looking and the director took advantage of these as well. So we got a good looking movie shot in some very unique locations. All this adds up to a very unique and incredibly funny zombie flick that I highly recommend. I think the only downside to the film is that sometimes, the visual effects aren’t all that great, but these occurrences are few. Juan de los Muertros is special in many ways, but chief amongst them is the fact that this is the first Cuban zombie film! Check it out if you want to see something different and if you want to laugh, I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

 Rating: 4 out of 5 

The Punisher (1989)

Title: The Punisher (1989)

Director: Mark Goldblatt

Writer: Boaz Yakin

Cast: Dulph Lundgren, Louis Gossett Jr., Nancy Everhard, Jeroen Krabbe

Review:

Sometimes a movie just doesn’t take off for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes, like in the case of Mark Goldblatt’s The Punisher, a film will die a quick and ugly death at the box office, not because the film is bad, but because the studio that backed it up is going down the drain. The studio in question was New World Pictures; a studio that was going bankrupt during the time The Punisher was being made.  It was going through one of those name change things, where one company buys the other and so they end up changing the companies name. Goldblatt’s The Punisher suffered promotion wise and release wise because of this. It wasn’t released theatrically in the U.S., but it did receive theatrical releases around the world, which is how I got to see it in theaters, because I live in Puerto Rico. Lucky me; this is after all, the one and only Punisher movie that’s worth a damn, so far anyways. I didn’t enjoy Jonathan Hensleigh’s The Punisher (2004), that’s the one with Thomas Jane as the titular character. I thought Thomas Jane was the worst choice to play the character, not because I don’t like Thomas Jane as an actor, but because he didn’t look the part. He didn’t look tough enough, plus, Travolta was weak as a villain and the film itself, it just didn’t do it for me. Punisher: War Zone (2008), I need to rewatch because I can’t remember much of it; but I do remember thinking that Punisher looked just right on that one, and that the action and violence was brought up a couple of notches. But for me, this 1989 version is the closest they’ve ever gotten to capturing the gritty, violent nature of Frank Castle.

The story is about Frank Castle going up against the Yakuza a.k.a. The Japanese Mafia. You see, the Yakuza wants to take over the whole drug operation in the city and they are asking for a huge cut of the earnings. Of course, the established drug lords of the city don’t like the deal that the Yakuza’s have set upon the table and so they decline the Yakuza’s offer. But the Yakuza’s won’t take no for answer, so in order to make sure the drug lords will all cooperate; the Yakuza’s kidnap the druglords kids and hold them as hostages! The Punisher a.k.a. Frank Castle, takes it upon himself to save the kids and destroy the Yakuza. Will he be able to do it?

What I like about this film is that it doesn’t focus so much on The Punisher’s back story, they don’t show us how he became The Punisher, on this film he just is The Punisher. We meet him when he has already set up camp in the sewers of the city, living in darkness and filth. What little we do see of his past we see in flashbacks, so the story doesn’t necessarily center around an origin story like so many comic book movies do. When he is not fighting crime, The Punisher likes to pray to God, while looking at pictures of his dead family. He asks god questions like: “Come on God, answer me. For years I’m asking why? Why are the innocent dead and the guilty alive? Where is justice? Where is punishment? Or have you already answered, have you already said to the world, here is justice, here is punishment. Here…in me?” This is really the best thing about this film; they portrayed The Punisher as this lost soul, completely devoid of emotion or the ability to enjoy a normal life. He is a man drowning in sadness and revenge. Lundgren’s Punisher is bitter, angry, depressed, you kind of get the feeling he’s on a death wish. This is the way that The Punisher should always be portrayed, the man is fueled by hatred for criminals, he is not a clean cut, nice dude. He is a few bullets short of blowing himself away. A far cry from the relatively wimpy version we got on The Punisher (2004). For me, Lundgren was the perfect Punisher; he doesn’t talk much but you can just see that hatred bursting out of every pore.

So you guys know me, cinematic violence and action equals awesome. Not that I’m a violent person myself (actually far from it) but movie violence is entertaining for me, the more excessive the better; and on that note, Goldblatt’s The Punisher delivers. This is the kind of action that the 80’s were known for. There are a handful of movies that I watch when I want to remember how excessive violence was in cinema during the 80s: Commando (1985), Lethal Weapon (1987), Cyborg (1989), Robocop (1987), Total Recall (1989), Die Hard (1988)…the list can go on and on. These films remind me of a time when violence in cinema was excessive, and when I compare them to today’s “action” films, well, today’s stuff just pales in comparison. I mentioned a good example of this on a recent article where I compared the new Total Recall (2012) remake with the old TotalRecall (1989). These are two films that are thematicallyl similar but are totally different in terms of violence and gore. The Punisher is one of those good old fashion action films that has shotguns shells flying, kicks, punches, stabbings, decapitations, samurai swords, you name it, they use it on this film. A little detail that’s interesting to note: The Punisher never uses the same weapon twice!   

  

This film comes to us from director Mark Goldblatt also known as the guy who directed Dead Heat (1988), which is a pretty fun zombie flick about a cop who gets turned into a zombie. Some old dude is creating zombies to steal diamonds! For what purpose? Watch the movie, but trust me, this is a fun, gory, violent, cop flick! The only way I can describe it is Lethal Weapon meets Return of the Living Dead, trust me it’s fun times for sure! Sadly, Goldblatt has never directed another film since he made The Punisher. I guess that has a lot to do with the fact that neither of these two films recuperated their budget at the box office, and you know how unforgiving Hollywood studios are! The Punisher was actually a huge turkey, it loss more than 8 million for its producers, but like I said before, it was not the films fault. This film is solid 80’s style action, it’s dark and grimy, it’s action packed and it’s deadly serious! A very underrated action flick from the decade of decadence. Need a shot of testosterone?  

Rating: 4 out of 5

The Horde (2009)

Title: The Horde (2009)

Directors: Yannick Dahan and Benjamin Rocher

Cast: Eric Ebouaney, Claude Perron, Aurelin Recoing, Dou Dou Masta,

Review:

Along with vampires, zombies are the most overused creature in horror film history. Like Sherlock Holmes, James Bond or Dracula, the zombie movie will never die. They’ll lay dormant for a while until a director comes along and re-invents the genre again, then we’ll get a whole new wave of zombie movies and so on and so on. This is what happened with the release of 28 Days Later (2002) and Resident Evil (2002). The zombie movie was dormant during most of the 90, but when those two films hit the scene and made some serious cash at the box office, suddenly zombie movies were cool again, then came Dawn of the Dead (2004) and blamo, that film decided zombie films would be around for a while, cause dammit, apparently the general population can’t get enough of the undead. We’ve even got a whole television series based on the living dead! And so, this latest rash of zombie madness has lasted until today, where surprisingly, it is still going strong! Personally, I’m looking forward to World War Z (2013); it looks like it will end up being the mother of all zombie movies; here’s hoping! 

Zombie movies that come from abroad, like say Europe or Japan are even more interesting then American zombie films because they can go further with the gore and the horror elements. The biggest benefit that European filmmakers have is that their ratings system isn't as strict as the MPAA, so they  don’t have to worry about editing the gore or the violence in their films as much because they don’t have to cut their movie down to get an ‘R’ or a ‘PG-13’ rating; which of course translates to far gorier horror films. Examples of this are films like Martyrs (2008), High Tension (2003), Frontier(s) (2007) and Inside (2007). The last three films on that list are French horror films inspired by American Horror, funny thing is that these films took the levels of graphic violence and gore further then the very films that inspired them, and they are great horror films by the way, highly recommend any of those films I’ve mentioned above. They are the cream of the crop of French horror as far as I’m concerned. And so, speaking of French horror films, today I’ll be reviewing The Horde; a zombie film that comes to use from two first time French filmmakers Yannick Dahan and Benjamin Rocher. All I gotta say is wowzers, what a debut!

Same as in many zombie films, The Horde does not give a full blown crystal clear explanation about how the zombies got here, the zombies simply show up and we have to deal with them. In this case, the story centers around a very disparate group of strangers who suddenly find themselves trapped at the top of an apartment building; depending on each other to survive the zombie menace. Problem is that the group of people couldn’t be any more different from each other, some are gangsters, others are the policemen that were going to perform a raid on said gangsters and others are simply civilians who live in the building. So the gangsters and the cops have to put their differences aside so they can deal with the zombies, question is: will they? On top of all that, they can’t simply walk out of the building because every hallway and staircase of the building is populated by hordes of zombies! What to do? What to do?

The thing about The Horde is that it goes step by step through the zombie movie formula, and if you’ve seen a lot of zombie films, then there’s not much on this one that you haven’t seen before. We get the group of humans who hate each other, which is something that George Romero loved to do with his own zombie films, to make the humans more villainous than the zombies themselves, to portray the humans as their own worst enemies. On this one it’s Gangsters vs. Cops and the white man vs. the black man, which of course brings Night of the Living Dead (1968) to mind. We have one of the good guys turn into a zombie, we have the lonely zombie who breaks into the house, we have the scene where the good guys find a stash of weapons, we have the good guy who sacrifices himself for the good of the team, the asshole who turns into a hero and last but not least, the good guys looking at the apocalypse from the roof of a building. For Christ’s sake, all we needed to complete the zombie cliché list was a scene with the good guys writing “Alive Inside!” on the roof of the building. So yeah, there’s that “been there done that” feeling to the film, but in spite of all this, did The Horde manage to bring anything new to the table? Does it at the very least entertain? That’s a very resounding HELL YEAH! This zombie movie rocked!

 What I enjoyed the most about the film is how excessive it is. It really goes overboard with its themes. Where an American film might restrain itself with the amount of stabbings that a character will inflict upon a zombie, on this film the character stabs a zombie 30 times and they will show the 30 stabs. If a character is going to fight a zombie, the fight is extensive and gruesome. When a character is confronted with a horde of zombies…trust me, things get gory. Wanna see an old man blow a horde of zombies away with a huge ass machine gun? Look no further! By the way, this reminds me, The Horde has one of the most memorable zombie sequences on any zombie film EVER! This is great because every zombie movie should have at least one memorable scene, but this scene I’m talking about really takes the taco as one of the best. I’m speaking of course of the scene where one of the characters is surrounded by hundreds of zombies all around him and he goes nuts with his guns and his machetes…truly awesome, I double dare any true zombie fan out there not to clap by the time that scene is over. But there are many moments like that one on this film which is really what makes it stand out. They went out of their way to shock us, so kudos to these filmmakers for aiming for that and achieving it gloriously. The film might be walking on tired ground, but it does so with gruesome gusto.

Best Zombie Scene Ever! 

Once again French horror has kicked American horrors ass. The Horde did everything you’d see in an American horror film but with that much more blood and violence. Save for a dull moment near the middle of the film where characters start talking about their own personal experiences and view points about the zombie apocalypse, most of the film is filled with none stop gore and action, as a horror fan and a zombie fan, I walked away both surprised and pleased. I say give this film a chance; if you love your zombie movies gory and violent, you will end up loving it. In my book, this is truly awesome zombie film that deserves more exposure. So this is an emergency broadcast from The Film Connoisseur to all those zombie loving fiends out there: go rent/buy this movie now!  

Rating: 4 out of 5 

Original vs. Remake Comparison: Total Recall (2012) vs. Total Recall (1990)

I remember seeing the original Total Recall in theaters way back in 1990 when Arnold Schwarzenegger was at the peak of his action star powers, when he was the king of the world of action movies. Total Recall was up to that point in Schwarzenegger’s career,  the biggest film he’d ever been in, the most expensive, the most epic; the most bombastic. And Arnold was just getting warmed up, a couple of years later he would amaze the world with Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1992). There was no doubt in my mind that Verhoeven’s Total Recall was an event film, people were talking about the special effects and about how over the top it was, but most of all, the movie was getting tons of heat because of the violence and the ‘disrespect for human life’ that it displayed. You know what I say to that: “Wake up people: it’s only a movie!” But then again, this was a time when Hollywood was getting a lot of criticism because of the violent quotient of it’s films. Yes ladies and gentlemen, 1990 was a summer/year of violence in theaters. We got such action packed gore fests as Die Hard 2 (1990), Robocop 2 (1990), Predator 2 (1990), hell, we even got artsy violence with David Lynch’s Wild at Heart (1990). Boy did I love going to the movies that summer! But the king of the violent films that year was the film we will be considering today, Paul Verhoeven’s Total Recall (1990). 

Paul Verhoeven and Arnold Schwarznegger

After seeing the remake last night, I can clearly see what makes both of these movies so different; and trust me they are very different. Let’s start things off with the way the action star has changed through out the decades. The 80’s and early 90’s were filled with action stars that were essentially, huge muscle bound tanks of destruction, you messed with them they’d answer with a roundhouse kick, a punch to the jaw or they’d blow you away really good. One look at the top action stars of the 80’s and it is crystal clear, muscles were the thing. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Dolph Lundgren, all of them, muscle bound and unstoppable. These guys were invincible in their films, so one thing that distinguished the action star of those days was the fact that nothing could get through them, they were damn near indestructible. With few exceptions, today’s action stars are not muscle bound freaks, but instead have a leaner figure. They are also more vulnerable, less indestructible. One look at the way James Bond was portrayed in Casino Royale (2006) will tell you this. Where Bond was once the epitome of indestructible, he now takes a beating; yes my friends; today’s action stars have one thing in common and that’s that they are psychologically  and physically vulnerable. This is why for this new remake we get a lean Colin Farrell instead of a muscle bound Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And speaking of Arnold Schwarzenegger, he was a big part of what made the original Total Recall what it is. Arnold has always been a bigger than life character, both in his movies and in real life and he wanted to make sure that this film was going to be as big if not bigger than his ego. He’d been trying to get on board the Total Recall train since the days when Dino De Laurentis was producing it. When that fell through he convinced Carolco to buy the rights of the film for 3 million. He negotiated a deal that gave him unparalleled control over the film. He had veto power over everyone, the producers, the writers, the director…he even had final say so over promotional material which would explain why his face is plastered over the entire poster! It was Arnold who chose Paul Verhoeven as a director because he was impressed with Verhoeven’s Robocop (1987). And here is where another essential element that made the old Total Recall what it was, the involvement of director Paul Verhoeven. It’s no secret that Verhoeven’s loves to cram his films with sex and violence. Veerhoven’s over the top style is plastered all over his Total Recall. When you see both the remake and the original, you see just what Verhoeven and Schwarzenegger brought to the project: sex, violence, cheesy one liners and over the top action. All of these elements are what is missing from the new film. It’s as if the fun was sucked right out of the movie. The new film is much more serious in tone, more solemn, cold. Basically, it’s not as much fun.

When Cronenberg was on board as director for the original Total Recall, he added an important element to the script that went on to become a huge part of Verhoeven's version: it was the element of actually going to Mars, he also added the Mutants and Kuato. Though in Philip K. Dick’s short story ‘We Can Remember it for you Wholesale’ Quaid does want to go to Mars (actually it’s the reason why he goes to Rekal) he never actually does. In Cronenberg’s script, Quaid actually does go to Mars and sides with the mutant rebels. There’d be none of these elements in Veerhoven’s film if it hadn’t been for Cronenberg take on the project. So it’s Cronenberg we have to thank for the whole ‘get your ass to Mars’ twist from the first film; which of course was completely deleted from the remake, apparently this was an effort to keep some amount of faithfulness to Philip K. Dick’s story. This means that on this new remake you won’t get, alien machinery, no mars colony, no mutant whores or clairvoyants, no Kuato, no Benny, no heads about to explode because of lack of air, no Mars with blue sky, no spaceships landing on Mars. Basically, anything that was Mars related was eliminated, which kind of brings the fun level down for me. Instead, we get a post apocalyptic earth in which over population is a huge problem. We get buildings on top of buildings, humans commuting in mass to their jobs, flying cars and a society living under a police state, a society that’s constantly being surveyed by the powers that be. So I guess this is the biggest difference with this new film. Eliminating Mars and keeping the film firmly grounded on Earth. They’ve switched the need to turn on the Alien Atmosphere Producing Machines with the need to stop a dictator from achieving his conquest of the people.

The new film is completely earthbound

Here’s where the two films walk on common ground. Both films are distinctively subversive. In both films Quaid was the evil corporate douche bag who now wants to be who he is, not who he used to be. He is the evil man who prefers to be the good guy he has turned into. His evil side is like a distant memory that he does not want to be a part of. Also, both films are about stopping the powers that be from abusing the people. On the original, we had Quaid trying to give the people free air, the way it should be. Why charge people for something that should be free? On the remake we have the workforce, battling against a government that wants nothing more then to obliterate the poor while looking like they are doing something good; a government that lies through the media, and uses the police as their own personal militia. This whole element of the working class vs. the higher powers actually reminded me a whole lot of Metropolis (1927), which is also a film about the working class asking for some respect. They after all helped build the futuristic city of Metropolis, all they want is to be treated fairly and with respect. Aesthetically, the film also reminded me of Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner (1982) and Spielberg’s Minority Report (2002), especially when the film goes into those flying car chases; which by the way are one of the coolest elements in the film. At the end of the day though, in between all the special effects and action, both films are about the people struggling to be heard and treated fairly. 

     

The original cut for Total Recall got Verhoeven an X Rating from the MPAA, it was deemed way too violent and graphic for the masses and so, cuts had to be made in order to get an R rating. Still, I’d say that Verhoeven walked away with an extremely gruesome movie. I still love watching Verhoeven’s film because it’s so over the top and crazy. I mean, it’s as if the film is constantly trying it’s hardest to shock you, I appreciate that about it. Three breasted prostitutes? Awesome! Heads that are about to explode due to lack of oxygen? Cool! Masks that talk and explode? Tre Cool! Sharon Stone top less? Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun! And what about Arnold’s none stop barrage of one liners? Fun as hell! Unfortunately all these elements where sucked out of the new one. I knew where the one liners were supposed to go on the remake…they just didn’t happen. They weren’t there. I was screaming "see you at the party Richter!" in the theater, and a couple of people laughed, they knew what I was talking about. It’s as if this remake was too self-righteous to have any fun? It’s trying to be so politically correct with its delivery that it looses its edge, it looses what made the previous film fun.

To make matters worse, one of the things that made the original so entertaining were Rob Bottin’s imaginative make up effects. These make up effects were so good that they got Rob Bottin and crew Academy Awards for their work. The three breasted girl, Kuato, the mask, the mutants, even Johnny Cab is gone, all of these creations we have Rob Bottin to thank for. Paul Verhoeven basically gave Bottin free reign to come up with as many gags as he could for the film and Bottin was eager to please. He was the one who came up with some of the films most show stopping moments, like the mask scene, that idea about the mask opening up and saying “get ready for a surprise!” was all Bottin! Sadly, the show stopping make up effects were completely ignored on this one. Instead we get tons of CGI environments.

I don’t want to sound like I didn’t enjoy this remake because it has some very good things going for it. I loved the art direction, which mixed elements from Blade Runner, Metropolis and Minority Report. There's no doubts about it, this is one cool looking movie, kudos to director Len Wiseman for achieving this. And whose fantastic idea was it to put both Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale on the same flick? Kudos to that genius, whoever he or she might be. And Colin Farrell did a good job as Quaid. I wouldn’t mind seen him on more action films. I also loved the idea behind these robot cops; they looked awesome and gave me a glimpse at what we might be seeing in the upcoming Robocop remake which is currently in production. Sadly, if that Robocop remake follows the same ‘modus operandi’ of this Total Recall remake, then the new Robocop will be an equally neutered version of the original. So yeah, the point I want to make about this new remake is that even though it had tons of none stop action and great visual effects, when compared to Verhoeven’s film, this new one feels neutered, like the majority of remakes nowadays. They offer us cleaner, “safer”, more politically correct versions of films that had balls. It seems to me like sex and violence are being eliminated from entertainment. Gone are the raunchy comedies, the ultra violent action films and the ultra gory horror films. Society is being neutered, who’s got the balls to bring an edge back to cinema?

(Go to this link for my full review of Total Recall (2012) 

Ratings:

Total Recall (1990): 5 out of 5

Total Recall (2012): 4 out of 5  

Shooting the flying car chase 

The Avenging Eagle (1978)

Title: The Avenging Eagle (1978)

Director: Chung Sun

Cast: Sheng Fu, Lung Ti, Feng Ku

Review:

I love me a good Kung Fu flick, for the longest time, the problem for me with these old kung fu movies was getting a hold of them. They simply weren’t available on any format! Also, so many of these films have been produced, that sometimes they get lost in the shuffle; case in point, The Avenging Eagle; a Kung Fu movie that I’d never heard about, yet ended up loving the hell out of. I guess that’s okay, especially when we take in consideration that many of these Kung Fu movies received a theatrical released way back in the 70’s and then were never seen again. But now, thanks to the folks at Celestial Pictures I have been getting up to date with a lot of these old Kung Fu Flicks. The Weinstein Company has unearthed them through their ‘Dragon Dynasty’ label. I have to thank these guys for that. They’ve been releasing these old Kung Fu movies in pristine condition, re-mastered and looking grand spanking new. If it wasn’t for these guys I would have never seen films like The One Armed Swordsman (1967) and Return of the One Armed Swordsman (1969) or the awesome Kung Fu classic King Boxer (1972), so this is a good label to look into my friends, they got some really interesting films on their roster.

But today I will be talking about The Avenging Eagle (1978) which is a film about this man who is running from a group of outlaws who call themselves ‘The 13 Eagles’. The groups leader is a man who calls himself ‘King Eagle’; what this King Eagle does is he takes children and trains them in the deadly ways of kung fu, then he brainwashes them into believing that they have to follow his every whim and desire; which they do. He sends them to steal gold and to kill his own personal enemies, they do it blindly, because its all they’ve ever known. After a while, our protagonist decides he wants out of the ’13 Eagles’ which of course upsets ‘King Eagle’ who sends the remaining 12 to hunt down and kill the traitor. Will he escape the claws of his past?

This Kung Fu classic has many great things going for it, chief amongst them is the fact that it is never for a minute boring. Since we have 12 deadly assassins chasing after the hero of the film, we have to see him defeat all 12 of them through out the course of the film. This of course means that every five minutes, two new Eagles appear to fight against our hero. Coolest part of it all is that every fight is just a bit different then the other because each eagle specializes in a different fighting technique and weapon. So we have the dude who fights well with axes, the guy who fights with swords, the guy who fights with his pipe (true!) but trust me, the weapons get cooler and cooler as the film moves along. This is something that distinguishes Kung Fu films, the variety of weapons that the characters use, and this film has some awesome ones. We get everything from wrist blades to Iron Claws.

The fights all build up to the amazing climactic fight with the leader of The Eagle Gang, King Eagle. Now this is one amazing Kung Fu duel! First the good guys have to dispatch of a couple of lower class kung fu mothers, but the final confrontation between the good guys and King Eagle is awesome one to behold, coolest part? It’s a lengthy fight that goes on and on, like I said, the film is never boring. The production also has good art direction, special care was taken to make this one look just a bit different, the sets and location give it a unique look that makes it stand out from other Shaw Brothers productions. For example, the lair of the 13 Eagles is this awesome, spacious set that looks like the interior of a boat, whit a giant golden eagle hanging in the background. Same as Hammer Films did, The Shaw Brothers had a roster of directors that commonly made films for them. The most renowned were Chang Cheh who made The Five Deadly Venoms (1978) and Chia Liang Liu who made The 36^th Chambers of Shaolin (1978). The Avenging Eagle was directed by Chung Sun a director who wasn’t as renowned as the others, but from what I gather, he put his name on the map with The Avenging Eagle. The film balances great fighting sequences, with an involving revenge story that has more then a couple of surprises in store for the audience. The director chooses to tell his tale through a series of flashbacks, each more revealing then the next until it all hooks up to the amazing finale, which is worth the wait. Highly recommend this one if your looking for a night of awesome Kung Fu action.

Rating: 5 out of  5